The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Alone-Implement9038 on 2024-05-27 13:57:47.
My dad died when I (17f) was 4. I was lucky enough that my paternal extended family were still in my life after he died and I had people I could talk to about him. But I always hated how little I remember him. I miss him like crazy and wish I had him in my life a lot longer. I wish he was still here today. But he's not. My mom never understood my feelings about my dad because she got married 2 months and had my half sister 4 months after my dad died (she was already dating my stepdad) and she would say it wasn't like I grew up without a dad. I tried explaining to my mom but it was a waste of time because she brushed off everything I said and would direct it back to my stepdad. But no matter how kind or loving my stepdad is, and he is, he doesn't make up for my dad. But I get some comfort from the fact I have my dad's family present in my life.
My dad's family is a sore point though. They never invited my half sister (13) along with us and they don't treat her like their granddaughter too. They have nothing to do with her. It created a lot of jealousy and resentment and my mom and stepdad feed into it.
My sister picks fights with me about them. She told me it's not fair I get stuff from them and she gets nothing or how I have a family that I keep from her. She said we should both get the same stuff and same time with them and I told her that doesn't happen because they're my dad's family and not her family at all. She talks about how they're not my dad's family because her dad is my dad in all the ways that count. So I try to explain to her why that's not true. It never ends with her seeing things from my side but eh, I expect it by now.
But recently it has become so much worse and yesterday my sister was saying how shitty it is for me to spend Father's Day with my paternal family every year and how I shouldn't be so obsessed with a guy who died before she was even born. And that I act like I'm so different to her. I said we are different because she has both her parents alive and I don't. She told me I do. I just won't accept it. I told her she doesn't realize how lucky she is that her dad's alive and she doesn't have to spend her life wishing he was here. She was like that's so not fair to say because you have a dad and you won't let him make that better. You'd rather miss a guy who died 13 years ago and I told her because he's my dad. I told her I'm allowed to miss my dad and wish I had him.
My sister told her parents and my mom was so pissed that I told my sister she doesn't know how lucky she is. Mom said I benefit so much from the dead dad crap and I'm okay with my sister missing out and it's super shitty of me.
AITA?