this post was submitted on 28 May 2024
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Efficient-Thought900 on 2024-05-27 13:32:19.

My 11 yo daughter is "graduating" lower school tomorrow. My ex wife texted me mid week last week and said she thinks we should do something for our daughter after graduation. I said "sure" and on Friday, she offered to host a party at her place. That was fine by me, and she asked if I could bring a cooler of ice with some beer and I agreed. I think the party is small maybe 3-5 other kids and some parents.

I told my girlfriend(18months) about the graduation and the after-party on Sunday morning, two days after the plans were made. I made the mistake of saying "My ex wife and I" were hosting a party for the kids. She got really upset with me that

  1. I didn't consult her and that by having the party at my ex's it somewhat excluded her due to the awkwardness of my ex wife around my gf.
  2. She feels ignored and that I'm favoring the ex wife and her feelings. She thinks my ex is using her power to gain my attention. ( I have no feelings for my ex, fwiw)

From my perspective, a lower school graduation is kind of a non event. My girlfriend might want to go, maybe not. She is very close with my kids but going to their "events" is a more recent thing. I can see her side of it because I wasn't thinking of her when agreeing to the after party at my ex's. However, it doesn't seem she see's my perspective on this and is making a very big deal of this and we are in a fight over it. AITH?

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