this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2023
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Anon wants to break up (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

[transcription]

No.321134310

>girifriend is being a cunt

>pretty much over the relationship

>want to dump her in a creative way

>need ideas

Alright. supervillains. Let’s see how dastardly you really are.

tldr wanna dump gf like a boss. Gimme ideas

No. 321143242

Ok, so here's what you do: get a ring-box and get a reservation at the fanciest restaurant you can afford. Propose to her in the most romantic way possible, then open the box and give her the ring

Now, when you're in church and about to get married, the priest will ask if anyone has any objections, look around if someone wants to say something. If no one reacts, keep silent as well.

When you're like 30, knock her up. Get like 3-4 kids and a house somewhere in the suburbs, along with a good job. When your kids are old enough, like 10 years, take her to Hawaii. Do a romantic picnic on the beach, and again, pull out a ring-box. Ask her it she wants to renew your vows, and do it right there and then with a priest hired beforehand.

After your kids leave the house, retire and travel around with her a lot. Take her to Brazil or South Africa or something. Heck, buy a boat. Then later, if needed, go to a retirement home.

Now, and this is key, when you're dying, have her sit next to your bed and hold her hand. And here's the trick: with your last breath you should whisper "I love you, then die.

Oh I'm sorry, did you want me to help you break up with her?

WELL FUCK YOU I'M ALL ALONE SO GO COMPLAIN TO SOMEONE WHO GIVES A RAT’S ASS

top 9 comments
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[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can't believe I read everything

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

I like to think the downvoters thought the same. They definitely read “cunt” and left, but that hardly impedes my optimism.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago

This is a Bait-and-Switch where the bait is a Bait-and-Switch

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Obligatory Rick and Morty: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7qtnJ8FzJk

I'm going to look at their nametags and say "I love you" followed by whatever is on their name tag.....

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just a heads up, it looks like your instance isn’t federating to kbin. Dunno if that’s intentional.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

not at all... its just a vanilla lemmy 0.18.4 install, nothing was blocked

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I figured it was a bug, I just checked from kbin.social and kbin.cafe and couldn’t find your comment. Or I might be misunderstanding how federation works and you’d have to interact directly with kbin instances for it to propagate? I don’t know the rules of federation well enough to say anything of substance.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

No clue myself, I just tried subscribing to [email protected] and it just doesn't work. Maybe its a issue with 0.18.4 lemmy and kbin?

https://github.com/LemmyNet/lemmy/issues/3876

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

It could be. Kbin has been iterating with fairly major bugs for a few weeks while the dev diagnoses some things.