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What I've learned as a male dating coach (www.gq-magazine.co.uk)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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If you feel like the dating landscape is bleak, take comfort in the fact you’re not alone. A recent YouGov poll showed that 46% of people using apps like Tinder and Bumble have had bad experiences, and three in five people find the profiles they’re shown to be unappealing. Combine that with a cost of living crisis and the widespread closure of nightlife venues in the UK, and it’s a tough time for people looking to meet their life partner.

Blaine Anderson is a dating coach who has helped over 3,000 men get out of their dating slump and navigate the modern challenges of finding love. A world apart from the highly dubious world of ‘pick-up artists’, Anderson wants to help men get better at presenting themselves, not simply to pursue sex but so that they can build meaningful, lasting connections. “Dating for men is a marketing problem,” is how she puts it, “… and great guys often suck at marketing.”

Below, she shares her top tips for finding love – from nailing the perfect app profile to mastering the art of texting and meeting people IRL.

They are:

Crafting the perfect dating app profile
Don’t spread yourself thin
Keep the conversation light
Plan a first date that is convenient for her
Don't over text
Try meeting people IRL

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

monetized hypercapitalist dating apps being the status quo is a big problem, and also sad as fuck.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

A fediverse dating service would be awesome and disruptive if eventually adopted by others beyond the standard fedi techie crowd

[–] [email protected] -2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No, keep it the standard crowd. I want a gf who likes Linux and Star Trek as much as I do.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

there’d be zero women in that case lol just go to one of those conventions good luck you’ll need it

[–] [email protected] -1 points 6 months ago

Not single for long, but they do exist. Also far more people are open to experiencing Linux and Star Trek than have experienced either, so you might want to look for more root indicators like curiosity, enjoying tinkering / learning, likes fiction, etc.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yep they are selling women to men and neither of them even know it. Most apps now use a Tinder model. This model is not designed to find people good matches. It is designed to give a false sense of hope. Everyone who finds a good match, is no longer a customer. Everyone quits because it feels hopeless, is no longer a customer. So they make people (men, they are the ones spending money) feel like there is hope, but don't actually provide the claimed service of matching people.

Anyone ever wonder why there are men on dating apps feel like they should get something from their matches. It is because they have paid money to get the match. Obviously it is to the app not the match, but emotional it feels the same.

Dating apps are intentionally a bad toxic service. I really believe that they are only making dating for both men and women harder, and increasing the feelings of loneliness.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

dating apps pre tender just had horde of gross men harassing women who wanted nothing to do with them.

sexual selection is inherently unequal. men find 50% of women attractive. Women only find 20% of men attractive.

sexual selection is not egalitarian, it's more a winner take most model.

enen if you have small dating pools, women still will all gravitate to want to date the 'best' men in the group and reject the other 20%.