this post was submitted on 12 May 2024
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nuanceposting (lemmy.cafe)
submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Important clarification/FAQ: I am not calling to coddle or excuse the behavior of bigoted men in any way!

I am calling to be kind and understanding to young men (often ages 10-20) who are very manipulable and succeptible to the massive anti feminist propaganda machine. Hope this clarifies that very important distinction. :)

click this dropdown for comments that are very helpful and illustrate key points!

it’s not a rhetorically great meme. at the root it’s just important to listen to what women are expressing by saying they’d choose the bear, but best not to try to double down on the hypothetical or take it personally :)

How does the man/bear discussion disenfranchise and antagonize young men?

@Boo

I don’t read this [the bear hypothetical] as the discussion disenfranchising young men, rather just stating that the broader disenfranchisement of the working class has its effect of making many men vulnerable to far right rhetoric of a day where many white cis-het men did not have to try, like at all (at least, that’s the rhetoric). I read this as saying that we need to counter these societal issues on multiple fronts; not pandering to right-wing men, while also not letting the far right rhetoric take hold of younger men. Offering a good alternative which actually helps them (leftism) instead.

@Neato

It’s not on women to soften their complaints of rape and harassment to try to prevent men from becoming incels and Nazis. For Fucks Sake Men can deal with the very mild discomfort of being occasionally reminded women have to always be vigilant.

absolutely agree ❤️which is why i am very thankful for those who put in patience and effort into encouraging young men to see their shortcomings ~ outside the context of women voicing their experiences ~ in order to achieve a more equitable future for all

Edit: This post has now been removed a second time, this time from [email protected] with no reason given. I want to thank the mods of this community for restoring this post here earlier today, and I want to encourage you all:

Be decent to one another

I think this post is a valuable thing given the current state of the Fediverse, please don't fuck it up for us by being toxic in the comments.

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[–] [email protected] -5 points 5 months ago (13 children)

This whole thing is completely blown out of proportion. The fact that young disenfranchised men are getting upset that women they don't know are choosing a bear over them says that they are taking it personally when it's not.

If you're a young man, and the people around you have decided they would rather choose the bear over you, that's a sign that you need to sit down and take a hard look at yourself about why they would do that. What have you done that would make them decide that. And if you extend that feeling to random women that you don't know, then you need to sit down and take a hard look at yourself why you feel that way. You don't know the lived experience of random women. You don't know why they would choose certain death over you. Taking it personally only shows your immaturity. You can't control how other people feel. You can only control yourself. If you want to understand why women around you would choose the bear, maybe try asking them nicely and actually listen. Empathy works both ways. Showing some will encourage people to reciprocate.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"Just remember, men: under no circumstances are women ever wrong. Every problem is caused by you and must be fixed by you."

[–] [email protected] -1 points 5 months ago (13 children)

Way to purposely misinterpret what I said.

How are women "wrong" about feeling uncomfortable around unknown men? How are women asking you to fix that problem? None of what you just said is actually happening. Stop creating a fantasy where you're perfect and it's everyone else who has a problem.

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