U.S. Sad Sack General Announces He’ll Be In His Room, Not That Anyone Cares
WASHINGTON—Looking down at his feet while addressing the nation, the U.S. Sad Sack General made a rare public appearance Monday to announce that he’ll be in his room, not that anyone cares. “Yeah, so, that’s where I’ll be—not that anyone ever tries to find me,” said Joe Davis, the sighing government official in charge…