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The original was posted on /r/norway by /u/Senior-Southh on 2023-08-20 18:59:50+00:00.
Writing in english so everybody can understand what I am writing. My family moved to Norway when I was a child. I have been here most of my life and feel western and norwegian. But for the past years, my mental health has been bad. In addition, I have been having an ethnic identity crisis.
My siblings are older then me, yet somehow they are doing WAY better in life then me. They have kids, they are married, they are highly educated and work and they seem well integrated and happy. My mom worked until she just retired and my dad still works as a university professor.
In the beginning of my 20's I was confident and social. I was invited to a lot of parties and geniuely felt like people liked me. I didn't have issues socializing. I had norwegian friends and friends from all nationalities. I was studying and working and didn't really have issues around socializing.
Until, for the past years I have started taking the social distancing too seriously even after the pandemic. My job contract didn't get renewed and I haven't been able to get hired. Ever since I have been unable to socialize in the same way I used to. I also got diagnosed with ADHD early this year.
While a lot of people are still nice to me. Now, if I encounter somebody who is rude, having a bad day or being clearly unfair. Then I start feeling like I am not wanted, that I am not accepted because I am not ethnic. I start to withdraw and isolate socially.
In addition, most people in their 30's seem to be preoccupied with their romantic partner and kids, and don't seem to have room for friendships. I would like to have a romantic partner but I haven't found anybody on dating apps that I can see myself with. I believe I would be able to find somebody I am compatible with, had I put myself out there in the real world. But I am unable to socialize that much anymore.
I keep thinking that there are people out there who don't want me to exist and be a part of society just because of my ethnicity, so its better to be home. I would love to join new activities or meet new people but I am scared I will just be ignored in a group setting.
I have been looking into jobs that I can do remotley just to avoid feeling inferior or unwanted. I am not sure what to do anymore. I feel like I am gonna end up being completly isolated from society one day and it hurts. Because I know I am likeable and loveable and that I deserve to be happy.