This is my favorite thing that's happened to me all day and I had a nice pork chop this morning 😃

I laughed out loud many times on the first page and then I got to the bottom with the pagination showing God only knows how many more pages of it continuing, and completely busted out laughing. I want to give them all a warm cup of tea and a cookie and tell them to relax it's gonna be okay.

This is glorious

Gallium explodes people who call it a stupid element. (it used in the plutonium pits of atomic bombs)

Thanks.

when you ask a genie for something they’ll give it to you, but with a nasty twist

And if I remember correctly, it's about asking a wish with precise, thoughtful phrasing, or it's going to backfire.

"Your wish is my command."
"I don't want to see my mother-in-law ever again."
Boom! Makes him blind.

That part didn't make sense to me, either, but my brain kind of elided it until I saw these comments. You're right, it's gotta be a genie that was created by a wish with a monkey's paw. That brings up another question: do monkeys even have paws? A quick search indicates that they have, as I suspected, hands and feet! I blame W.W. Jacobs for this. Did the guy ever even see a monkey? I'm finding this hard to establish.

Further bulletins as events warrant.

Oh I see. I never associated monkey’s paw type twists with the genie tale. Perhaps I need to re-read the source myths.