This is why I dislike the whole "You were always a girl!"
Line... I get that you're trying to be supportive, but if I was "always a girl" I'd have never had dysphoria in the first place and I could have had a normal life instead of this nightmare
this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2023
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I feel super fucking bad for arguing about this and i don't want to invalidate your pain here, but ... idk, it's exactly the other way round for me. Or maybe i just have different words for it, and we're actually on the same page here, but i need to share this. So sorry in advance if i come off argumentative or contrarian. I'm not, i mean you no harm, and i am not interested in calling your view of being trans into question, i just want to contribute my own.
The fact that i always was a girl, but couldn't understand myself as one and live as one explains most of the pain, trauma, relationship disasters and other life failures i've had to endure. My entire biography doesn't make any sense at all if i assume otherwise, i can only view what's behind me and who i am as a coherent whole when i accept the fact that i've always been a girl. No, not physically, but that doesn't determine who i am. Girl isn't a biological term describing a human body, it's a psychosocial category, an identity and finally a way to view and understand myself. The entire incongruence / dysphoria follows from the fact that i'm a girl, but in spite of that didn't get born with a sufficiently female body to safely harbor that identity and make it recognized by others, and the way i'm slowly fighting my way out of that is to alter my body to the point where it fits these needs and where that scared, angry, sad girl that was trapped inside me for all these decades and now finally has come out can grow up to be the woman i always should have been.
We grieve the lives that were stolen from us in different ways I suppose.
super relatable, i also don't really enjoy blunt force support like that. it feels too close to whitewashing the shitty parts of being trans or something, idk
My life, and possibly all life in general, is too complicated to be band-aid fixed with an empty affirmation from some after-school sitcom's "Very Special Episode"