this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2024
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Dads

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

My son (2) has developed a sudden a surprising aversion to having a bath. Last night we asked if he would get in the bath and he replied in the cutest way possible with the word "Nope".

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

I am a budding collector of unhinged quotations from my kid. Two of my favourites:

Daddy, I want a cannibal toothbrush like yours.

Mechanical. Bless.

My favourite green thing is nobody, because nobody is green.

This one is almost like a zen koan. Little four year old suddenly using conceptual negative space, crazy how nature do that.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago

My boy asked if he could have some chips, in this case some cheese Doritos. But the bag wasn't open yet, so I asked if there were any other kinds that were already open?

With great dramatic effect he sighed and said, "only plain 😖".

I laughed and let him have some.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 7 months ago (3 children)

Not recent, but my daughter said:

"mummy your bum is too big"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

That's hilarious.

My kid would have gotten an impromptu biology lecture. Or at the very least introduced to some M.C. Hammer music.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Wasn't this Sir Mix-A-Lot

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Nice one ha ha

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

You are Arabella Weir and I claim my five pounds.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

I have an almost-3-year-old, and a 10 month old. Last night my older one took a teether away from my younger one’s hand, just to then put it in front of her face and sternly say, “eat it!!!”

The sequence, in person, was very funny.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Pre-school would often ask my daughter survey questions about herself and send the survey home.

One question was "My favorite food is:".

She put "Birds".

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago

Are uncles allowed to answer?

I told my sister's kids that my favorite candy was Butterfinger. They said they've never tried it but she told them to look in their Halloween candy bags. My niece comes running back, tears in her eyes, and whimpers, "Mom.....I can't find the butter hands...."

She also calls mozzarella sticks "monster elephants"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Ummmm no, yes, no, it's green, gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

They're two moments I always remember, one from each of my boys.

My eldest as a young child once talked about the Wii controller, "It's called a nunchuck because it's a nun and you must chuck it".

The other son misheard musical lyrics and for a while would sing to himself the Ghostbusters theme with the following line,"If there's something strange, and it's made of wood. Who ya gonna call?"