the_dunk_tank

everyone will think it's fake

Hahaha yeah

Celebrations and "speaking ill of the dead" discourse

Hahaha yeah

Evangelicals being weird

Hahaha yeah

Republicans will have no nominee

Ehhhh, probably not, but sure, it'd be funny

Discourse on if Biden should attend his funeral

Hahaha yeah

turns the tide on the Ukraine War and Taiwan

...wat???

I enjoy how it starts off realistic and then quickly veers off the overpass into fantasy land. Where's the part where Xi offers the unconditional surrender of China?

In their wildest fantasy, Biden still loses the election.

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced.

Ahh right, because losing 69,420 tanks per week didn't cause Russian morale to collapse, but Trump dying will put Russian organization below the threshold necessary to attack. All Ukraine has to do is walk one Cavalry unit to Moscow to capture the sweet VPs there.

China similarly backs off it's threats on Taiwan

Chinese General: "President Xi, the Americans are in disarray and will likely be in political paralysis for at least six months as the parties fight for control. Now is the time to strike."

Xi, Fu-Manchu-ly stroking his beard and leaning back into the shadows: "No, my friend. Now... We wait."

lmao the funniest one of these is the idea that all the living presidents wouldn't attend Trump's funeral. Motherfuckers would be chomping at the bit to be the first in line to give Trump's legacy the Dubya Bush treatment.

Also I feel like Trump memes are dead and have been for a while.

As morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan

Blue MAGA is unfortunately real. America solves its problems because the other guy just dies. Don't libs understand that conservatives have the same exact fantasies about them?

My face when the libs turn a venal, weird elderly failson in to Morgoth, Fel Enemy of the World.

If liberals actually believed the Ukraine and China parts of this then they would kill Trump.

Unfortunately they don't actually believe this incredibly stupid shit.

Yeah dude the average russian conscript's morale sure has anything to do with Trump being alive.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

Yet he and Bush die of a stroke and not in front of a firing squad. These people are just so deeply unserious

It seemed fine until the funeral bit.
There would be memes, some of them would be funny, some of them would stick around.
The funeral and the china is pure tho

The internet has made me hate the word "discourse". FFS, 25% of this person's points are about what the internet's topic of the week will be.

Bush: Will attend, will say something innocuous but nice that liberals cannot shut up about for weeks.

Obama: Rolls up, struts his shit like he's on the red carpet. Has a great time. Michelle and W. talk about the latest marvel movie or something. He makes one deniably cutting remark to a reporter before the service. Liberals shit their pants and print the quote on coffee mugs. His official remarks are a concise speech that covers all the usual bases and avoids particulars about Trump. He does the hate the man but respect the office bullshit. He gives a thirty minute interview with Jimmy Fallon the next night where he says nothing and promoted his new book or whatever.

Pence: Is in attendance, literally nobody talks to him.

Kamala: Does not attend. Liberals hoot n' holler about it for a month, even after its revealed that her absence was becaise she overslept because of all the wine and xanax. This is all discovered after her team releases a video, a week afterbthe funeral, of a (poorly) deepfaked Kamala participating in a ribbon cutting ceremony for a school for undocumented child amputees. The school doesnt even exist.

Biden: You're fucking braindead if you think he wouldnt be there. Unfortunately for the rest if us, he's braindead too. He talks to one reporter before the service where he says a bunch of rambling bullshit about Trump being a president and that he was a tough opponent. He trails off after slurring some tiktok slang word his team tried to coach him to say to seem hip and with it. His team hurry him away and he does not talk to any other reporters. He wears sunglasses during the service despite being indoors. He makes no official statements.

Biden barely, and I mean barely gets enough electoral college votes to win the presidency later in November. Theres another Jan 6 type thing this time on inauguration day. Biden is taken to a safe house and gives his inauguration speech with a zoom logo in the corner of the screen. Three days later its a national tragedy when President Biden suffers a sudden heart attack and is declared dead. Kamala is delaclared president. She laughs her way through her oath of office.

Conspiracy theories spread like wildfire in the aftermath. With one in particular persisting, that Biden actually actually died of a stroke and we all witnessed the start of it on live TV at Trump's funeral. His staff did a weekend at Bernie's to get through the funeral then just kept him on ice through inauguration.

Sorry, I got a bit carried away there. I'll back it up a bit and try to imagine something more realistic.

Two weeks after the funeral and one week after the release of the Deepfake Kamala video, made by her team to cover for her conspicuous absence at Trump's funeral theres a mass shooting at a spanish immerson elementary school in colorado and the aforementioned video is mentioned in the shooters manifesto.

The release of all his plasm would be powerful enough to change the situation in Ukraine and Taiwain, but not in Palestine.

Ten thousand new memes, lads. Just think of it. Cheeto man memes. Mango man memes. Pumpkin man memes? Maybe we're running the joke into the ground, but we've got 9,997 to go! Oh, Fanta memes, because Fanta was Nazi (look it up). Ooh, did we mention his fingers were short?

The internet promised the greatest cultural flourishing the world had yet seen, a revolution to eclipse the printing press, and this is what we end up with. Visions of memes dancing like sugar plums in the otherwise empty skulls of a bunch of vapid screen junkies.

Sure I was turned into aerosolized gristle by Russian artillery at Avdiivka but my ghost smiles knowing with the death of Field Marshall Trump the tides of war shall change and Zelensky will be crowned Tsar in Moscow.

Scratching liberals is getting tiring, they're all fascists without needing the scratch them

New Lib End of History just dropped?

(they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

God that takes me back to when I was an idiot liberal in like 2017 and I thought calling Trump a traitor to America was the biggest own

I was kinda with him till #6