Woohoo! I am the first lol. :) Happy Friday everyone! Non alcoholic drinks for all today!!
this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2024
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Stop Drinking
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Day fuckin 0.
I fucked up.
Didn't go complete blackout, but had probably the equal of four shots to kill my brain and get some sleep last night.
Relationship shit that doesn't need to be put out here. It ended well enough.
Fuck.
I have no intention of starting that shit again, though. I'm an overall better person sober and I want that for myself as well as for My Girl, my family, my friends..
I will not drink with you today (though I guess I straight fuckin lied about that one yesterday morning)
ugh, I'm sorry.
Remember that nobody can take your 28 sober days from you, but try to think how you got to the stage where drinking seemed like a viable option? Do you need to add some more tools to your sober toolbox?
Tools? What's the psychological equivalent of the BFH? I could use a whole-assed toolbox of em in every increment that's humanly possible..
But, seriously:
Drinking became a viable option when it got late enough that I knew without a doubt that it was going to be a sleepless night, a long night with The Boys In The Basement sinking their teeth into the flesh of my mind all fucking night long. (I know that's cryptic, but I don't have a better way of describing what goes on in my nugget sometimes..)
I keep some booze on hand, have it well within reach of my bed. I do this on purpose, so that's it's always clear to me that I'm quitting for a purpose, on purpose. And last night I found out something new about that crazy method.. It kept me from driving probably fifteen miles or so to get alcohol. Would I have cracked one before I got home? Fuck yeah, I would've. Would I have driven to the fuckin woods, or to the river and poured it in me until I just passed the fuck out? Probably.. But I didn't. I know it doesn't make it any better that it could've been worse.. I just had a couple fingers, then a couple more, told My Girl that I had to stop the discussion because it's late, and I've been drinking.. We wrapped ourselves around one another and crashed the fuck out. And I slept.
If fuckin up were an Olympic sport I'd probably have more gold than Mr. T... I'm not letting it fuck me up. I'm on day zero, again. I'll go at it from here.
Do you have any suggestions for sober tools that you think I need to hear?
And.. Thank you for giving a fuck, honestly. It means a lot to me.
I'm travelling at the moment, so I'm going to come back to this later, but I have a few suggestions.
It's not a lie unless it was intentional. All good here, you fixed the flat and getting back on the road. And my sleep has been awful lately and gotta admit the urges are there for me too.
It wasn't intentional, until it was. Didn't start the day with any intention to drink. But I sure as fuck ended it with a buzz. Internally, I have no distinction between that and a lie, but I get what you're saying.
Stay stronger than I am, Z. And thank you. I hope rest finds you, and finds you happily sober.
Be proud of the 28 days! That is no small feat. It’s safe to say the majority of us took multiple tries. I had so many myself over 10 years.
I'm proud of making it that far. It gave me proof that I Can make it, and enough hope to believe that I Will make it, eventually.
Day 17 for me and my wife. It's a bit difficult for us but we are basically taking turns being the strong one