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The original was posted on /r/armenia by /u/newuser0087 on 2023-08-10 20:59:02+00:00.
I am Half Russian and Half Armenian. After my Armenian father passed away my mother moved to US probably in attempt to get me away from Russia & large Armenian family. Anything armenian was always down played by her and my aunt (Armenian genes are bad etc). So I mostly grew up feeling ashamed of being Armenian - even that my name is ARMEN. Still I felt close to the country I was born (Russia) and never completely assimilated in USA.
Later in life I end up dating an Asian woman while she was on working visa in US and we been in relationship for almost 5 years. We traveled a lot and last year we tried to living together. Everything seemed almost perfect.
However, about 2 years ago something dramatic happens in my life. I was pushed my own girlfriend to find out more about my father and talk to my Armenian relatives (who were attempting to reach me since I moved to US). I end up learning a lot secrets and lies of my mother about my father. Turns out I have several half-siblings from my father and in general a very large Armenian family. When I confronted my mother about her lies, she effectively cut me way and my GF from my family in USA. Out of everyone on my Russian side, only my mother still contacts me for financial support.
Now being cut away by my Russian "family" I feel alone and strange in USA. I have greater desires of repatriating back to Russia or Armenia. Also knowing that I was raised through my childhood to hate Armenia and my father, I started to develop reluctant feelings toward my girlfriend even that I still love her. Now I have reservations about marrying since she is not Armenian.
Now I ask will this relationship work if I decide to move back? Or relocate to Armenia? How would my Armenian side look at me? Will they also ouster me? How do I preserve my language and culture especially when only family I had in USA do not want have anything to do with me anymore.
Obviously language and culture of my girlfriend is very different from mine and she also has very large family. This leaves me alone in trying to preserve something that I am. And of course life wirh someone Armenian would not have those cultural problems.
Am I wrong to be reluctant and feeling reservations with my current relationship? Is it just result of sudden changes in my life?
Or should I still go with it and make it work?
What would you do?