this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2024
66 points (88.4% liked)

Not The Onion

12313 readers
565 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
all 11 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I misread this as "Ganja" and thought they dropped him in a tub of hash or something

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Where can I get this treatment?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Murder with extra steps to appear innocent.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Touch some fucking grass!

It's not like they wanted to murder him. They were just desperate. Having someone you love diagnosed with terminal cancer is pretty fucking tough, especially if it's your 7 year old child.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

And you just 'know' that. How great must it be to be the chosen one.

You've clearly never seen the kind of animosity people try to hide about the burden of their disabled kids, or the people who keep them for the state paycheck.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Thank you for enlightening me Mr. Holmes! Truly brilliant detective work and understanding of the human condition, in between one shitpost and another. Where would the world be without keyboard detectives?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

This is just sad
Out of options they tried for the irrational miracle

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Sounds like they drowned him

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (2 children)

The Ganges is an absolutely disgusting and horribly polluted river. It could easily be a dozen of other things that did it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Hard to tell because it just says "he didn't survive the ritual" which to me implies it was at the river. A disease will take time.