this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2024
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

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[–] [email protected] 82 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Choosing my president based off how many chairs they could carry when the teacher asked for help in the gym

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[–] [email protected] 74 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Lathe: Bidens pr team will stage an event where Biden carries NINE pizzas

[–] [email protected] 52 points 10 months ago

Biden flexing after carrying 9 pizza boxes 10 feet

[–] [email protected] 45 points 10 months ago

It will leak that the boxes were empty though

[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Biden will then die immediately afterwards

[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago

inshallah-script

It would be the funniest outcome

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago

(Only the top box contains pizza)

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 10 months ago (3 children)

The next election shouldn't be debates. No ads, no rallies. It should just be these two geriatric fucking goons having a pizza carrying contest. The one that can carry the most gets the nukey nuke button.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Trump leans in to the mic, and says "physical challenge"

Host rolls out a giant banana

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh yeah, well Stalin personally carried all the grain out of Ukraine with one giant spoon, checkmate liberals

[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago

pff lol nah, gorbs was the first and only soviet leader capable of carrying pizzas.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 10 months ago (1 children)

fair enough, most trump supporters would need an f150 to carry 8 pizzas

[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago

Also probably a heads up that the delivery guy isn't white so stow the firearm.

[–] [email protected] 50 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Soy Biden, tambien. Todos somos Biden en este dia glorioso.

[–] [email protected] 44 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 37 points 10 months ago

you may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago

a 8 year old's idea of presidential success

[–] [email protected] 35 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago

showing my manliness by carrying 9 pizzas

[–] [email protected] 34 points 10 months ago

New American measurement unit just dropped. Old man strength/dexterity measured in pizzas carried

[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (4 children)

can y'all imagine how sad an Iowa pizza is

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Looks like Little Ceasar's, so it costs 5 bucks and I can smash half of it at 2AM when I'm hammered and the other half at 11AM when I'm hung over as shit but other than that yea

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (2 children)

It's incredible how bad of a pizza parts of the Midwest can create.

Completely distinct flavorless layers of sauce cheese and bread that are somehow not interactung at all despite being in direct contact.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Trump could never throat that much glizzy.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 10 months ago (3 children)

OK let’s not pretend like we haven’t gushed over that clip of Bernie running.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 30 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 29 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Oh yeah? Then where is your name on this graph of pizza carrying prowess?

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago

in the top tier

[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The sad thing is that I totally agree. boohoo

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago

I fell my face into the pizza and I cried so much

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago

Probably true tbh

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago

Readers added context:

the boxes were actually empty, he probably could have carried more if they were full tho.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago

He has a promising career as a pizza delivery man.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago
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