this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2023
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NonCredibleDefense

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[–] [email protected] 63 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Good luck. We have totally credible intel from NORAD that Santa's max speed is faster than starlight.

https://www.noradsanta.org/en/sleighinformation

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago

Good luck targeting someone who can be at multiple places at the same time. That guy operates in eleven dimensions.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

hah! The 1993 documentary The Nightmare Before Christmas already conclusively proved that Santa can't even evade regular ol' flak

[–] [email protected] 38 points 10 months ago

Don't worry, Santa has countermeasures.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I would honestly bet on the ancient flying wizard.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (2 children)

When the missile is about to strike Santa's sleigh he opens his bag of tricks and inside it goes into an extra dimensional space. Then later he gives a nice missile, refueled and deactivated with a bow on it, to a Ukrainian artillerist who's been good this year.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I picture battle hardened soldier sleeping, sitting down, with arms around ballistic guides surface to air missile the way a child might hug a stuffed animal.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

And whoever fired the missile gets radioactive coal ash dumped all over them.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago

You do not want the elves to find the location of your instalation

You have one shot before asking for mercy

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

Fat man's not just hypersonic, he's superluminal.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I love when weapons are called Patriot.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

Especially when their job is to rush at the enemy and explode themselves.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

We've been trying to get him for over half a century

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

C-RAM looks more Christmasy at night

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (3 children)

i don't think a sleigh and some reindeer gives off enough heat or bounces enough radar for anything to lock onto it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Also the calculated speeds, to be able to deliver presents all over the world on a single night are enormous. And with amazing maneuverability, too!!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

The Patriot system uses radar guidance. Radars can easily spots individual birds. A sixpack of reindeer, a sled, and one fat ass riding it should lit up like a chrismas tree for the radar.

However, according to the picture, OP only has the missiles, but no radar to guide them. In other words: he has dead weight that can't hit shit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

i don't think a sleigh and some reindeer gives off enough heat

You're forgetting about Rudolph: https://www.noradsanta.org/en/noradhq

According to NORAD, Rudolph's nose emits in a similar part of the IR spectrum as conventional missiles.