this post was submitted on 28 Jul 2023
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I've got a new job that I didn't realize tested until after they gave me the offer (legal state), now I'm one week sober and drinking/sweating like a monster, but I'm not sure it'll work in the one week I've got left before the start date.

Lots of websites suggest various detox drinks, but there's often a profit incentive for them to say that.

I'm not afraid to spend money, I just want this to be over with. Anyone know of any drinks or strategies that worked for them?

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Are you certain they care about weed? Maybe they're only looking for narcotics or meth. Especially since you're in a legal state.

Ask them to delay the test for two weeks after your hire. That way they don't waste the money testing when you'll know you'll fail for weed. Be upfront about it. Tell them that you quit as soon as you were hired and that weed isn't a big deal to you. You just smoked it with friends once in a while.

Not every company is a total asshole about weed. In the end they are real humans. They already hired you, and don't want to waste that time doing so. As long as you don't make them waste money on a test, they'll probably be happy you could test clean two weeks later.

Maybe I'm too optimistic.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

This is a great approach, especially if it is a career position and not a loose part time job type thing. You could also use the whole “you were at a concert” excuse and ask for an extension.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Check out the Certo method, worked for me when I had to deal with a similar situation once upon a time. I did Certo (aka a brand name of Fruit Pectin) the night before and then a detox drink the morning of, but the detox drink was overkill, I could have just used creatine/B vitamins and more certo, probably.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Thanks so much, this is exactly the kind of answer I was looking for! I bought all the stuff, gonna try a test run tonight.

Has anyone else had an experience (positive or negative) with this one?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

You might try just getting a medical card, from my understanding at that point whether they test or not it doesn’t matter because it’s being “prescribed” by a doctor and now falls under a HIPAA thing.

I AM NOT AN EXPERT AND HAVE A BASIC UNDERSTANDING OF THIS, DYOR

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

There may be a quick fix, but you’ll have to google it. Just look for a quick fix for what you’re looking for.

Otherwise, cannabioids enter your bloodstream when you workout, so … don’t workout before the test. And you’ll need probably about 30 days.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sometimes people can't use a quickfix for all that jazz, so they have to just sweat it out over time (about 30 days depending on how frequently you consumed)

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well if that sweating means exercising you make the problem worse.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

That's why about 30 days.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Jazz detox has worked for me. Basically just drink so much water your piss is diluted.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Back in the day I was a piss tester in the army. If the specimen came back diluted it was an automatic fail. Idk how other places handle that but it failed for us because it was a sign of tampering.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Vitamin B12 can help depending on how much and how often you smoke

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Don't even try to pass. Give them synthetic urine.

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