this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2023
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Transfem

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Hey folks,

I've been semi out at work for a while now, with our communication systems showing she/they and dressing femme in the workplace.

I've settled on wanting to be called by a different name, and talking with my team lead and HR contact am planning a switch over on Monday.

I don't expect any hostility from the team I'm in, and the company has been very supportive to date.

That doesn't stop me being a little nervous with the visibility of Slack etc changing over to a distinctly female name.

Was wondering if the experiences of other transfemmes coming out in such a clear way in their workplaces.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

My workplace is a bit backwater when it comes to this. Without the changed birth certificate I can't change my name in all relevant places: mail, outlook, SharePoint, Teams...

My immediate Boss is quite supportive though.

I'm half way there in my team coming out so half of it knows my name while the other will use my Deadname. I will change this next week though, I hope. It's the last week of this development sprint and I need to finish this ticket :D

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

The field I work in has a variety of background checks for clients... so for a while until I decide to get new identification documents my deadname will float about... plus my family don't know about the changing name yet.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I wish I had experience to share, but I just wanted to say I'm so proud of you for working towards this! I haven't come out to anyone at work yet, but worry about the possible backlash (very much a boys club)

You're an inspiration and you got this girl! So glad to hear your workplace has been supportive!

On Slack, is there anyone who wouldn't know who you were once the name change goes into affect? Maybe you can post in a thread everyone is included in and just briefly introduce yourself with your new name and if anyone has questions they can privately message you? Might help mitigate any possible confusion.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Previous name will be well known...

Agreed with my leadership that I'd put a quick heads up on Slack today in my team channel that my name has changed to avoid surprising anyone Monday, and to give the weekend for anyone to digest.

Response was positive so here's hoping no issues as work goes next week.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Congrats again! I'm sure it will go great. Sounds like you have a good leadership team at work ❤️

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm actually planning on coming out/changing my name at work in the next few weeks so I'm right behind you!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hope it goes well for you!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Thank you, you too!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Thank you ❤️

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

I did at the restaurant I worked at when I transitioned, although I switch to initials instead of a female name. Everyone was super cool about it, just went, "ok cool."

Don't be surprised if people mess up, especially people that know you better - it can be harder for people that know you better to make that initial switch. But if your workplace seems cool with it, it probably will be.

Good luck! This is one of the most nerve wracking parts of transitioning, but also the most rewarding. Reach out if you need any help processing when it's over!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Can't fully relate, as I changed my name when I changed shifts and departments. The result being neither my manager nor any of my coworkers has ever known me by my deadname. So that particular bit of awkwardness was avoided.

But without a doubt, changing my name at work was one of the best decisions I ever made. Still need to update my badge, but everyone uses my preferred name and compliments me on it. Feels so amazing to constantly hear it, beginning to heal a lifetime of hearing a name I loathed.