What the fucking fuck, Florida?
this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2023
279 points (98.3% liked)
Not The Onion
12304 readers
871 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
I'll admit, this one's a pretty unique Florida Man.
Just when you think it couldn’t get any weirder, Florida Man proves you wrong.
It can always get even Florider
Interestingly, "Florida Man" news stories are largely the result of a law called the Government in the Sunshine Act. The Surprising Truth About FLORIDA MAN!
Don't sell us so short, we're not the only state with Sunshine Laws. For example, have you ever heard of Missouri Man?
I want to know where exactly on the books it says this specific act is illegal.
They charged him with indecent exposure. There's not a "defecation on a deceased marsupial with the intent to disrupt traffic" statute.
Sort of seems like there should be now though, eh?
It's only illegal in Florida during rush hour. When traffic isn't so congested, lots of people are doing this and it's hardly headline material.
That's not how the law works, silly. They just arrest the guy and then find something to charge him with.
Yeah this sounds like quite a load.
RIP to the possum
Rest in poo
The possum was looking so lonely in its death so the Florida Man just wanted to give it a gift.
Seriously tho, where’s the story about a florida man trying to poop on a live possum, that would be something.
A lot of possums play dead and are not really dead. This is one way you can test whether or not a possum is dead.
He's just testing his hy-poo-thesis
You simply cannot argue with that logic.
In Florida.
Getting arrested for acting crazy in the epicenter of Scientology is kind of an achievement.
That can't possibly be...
Yep. It's the actual, unedited headline. This one ought to win some kind of award.
[Florida Man] ... was not under the influence of any intoxicants at the time of the alleged incident
- Pinellas County Sheriff's Office
Just thought it was as good a place as any
He won the bet though
Setting a new bar for the others
What did he get arrested for though? Was pooping in public thr part that was illegal or is doing it on a dead possum considered animal abuse?
The last line of the article is
He was charged with exposure of sexual organs and booked at the Pinellas County Jail.
Don't judge, it could happen to anyone
Florida Roulette.
1 of 6 times the opossum is still alive.