this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Little shits under 5 are preprogrammed to fucking try to kill themselves at post haste it fucking seems. That's why I support using those damn leashes for your suicidal toddler.

How the fuck did humans become the apex species when their young is hell bent into rushing into a sabertooths mouth?

[–] [email protected] 21 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Had enough kids that eventually one didn't do things like that.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You would think all those generations would have bred the suicidal tendencies out of toddlers. Instead we got easily fooled eyes and hackable dopamine drip.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Mutations still occur. They aren't all good. :)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago

Maybe we were never supposed to protect em lol that's why the world pop only got above a billion when we started introducing "Hey let's not let the kids kill themselves" ideas and laws.

The little Jimmy that decided he wanted to pet the Gator didn't grow up to be Jimothy Bodangles, PHD.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Humans are also the ones publicly shaming parents for not removing their toddlers from sabertooths’ mouths.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (2 children)

My freaking niece. I love her with all my heart but almost every time I tell that little demon to avoid doing something, she daringly look at me with an evil grin and do it just meer moments after. She thinks everything is a game and my sanity is just another toy.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (3 children)

How about letting her hurt herself (slightly)? If she’s old enough to understand you, she’s old enough to learn that people who tell her not to do something mean well.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

My nephew based his life on Dennis the Menace. I was cooking a family and got called out of the kitchen where I was working alone.

Two minutes later I come back in to find this kid (maybe 5?) waving my razor sharp french knife around.

I very carefully removed it from his grasp and when I wasn't using it I put it under a towel at the back of the counter. Told his parents to watch him.

Later he's got it again and a steak knife.

I take all the blades, put them in a box, and put them way up high.

Come back later and he's got a chair against the counter, a box on the counter, and he's heading back up the chair with more of mother's cookbooks to pile up to stand on...

Some kids are a little more extreme.

Edit: cooking a family feast, not a family (see first paragraph).

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Cooking a family, you know you can go back and edit where you wrote that instead of adding an asterisk at the end of your essay.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Thought it was funnier that way.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's a choice for the parents to make. I would never take that risk as an uncle

[–] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago

Talk to the parents then?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

It's a good idea but the problem lies in the "slightly" part. The house is under renovation so the dangers are real.

Nonetheless , The idea is very interesting so if such scenario ever present itself I will certainly try it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Reframe your delivery. When we tell people not to do something, that's the first thing they think of.

For example If I tell you not to think of an elephant, what's the first thing that comes to your mind?

So here's the solution: Redirect her to other things /activities so it takes her mind off of the bad thing she's about to do.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Tried it and it kinda works but kids can be too stubborn sometimes.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

She sounds like a free spirit. Maybe she needs less micromanaging, because kids who feel oppressed will try to break out of it like punching through a paper bag.

She'd probably thrive with tons of freedom

but with strict consequences if she does something dangerous to hurt herself or others.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

You said it all.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Even when they’re far too young to verbalize the idea, toddlers inherently know that the only time they can attempt certain things is when no Big People are looking.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

attempt things like suicide?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

But they don’t know it’s suicide, so that makes it cute. Right? Uh, right?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I remember a comment chain about this resulted in a two-player competitive game where one plays as a baby trying to get themselves killed while the father does their best to babyproof as many hazards as possible. You can eat batteries, put yourself in the oven, drown yourself in the tub, drink chemicals under the sink, or put a fork in the electrical outlet. It was a pretty fun game, though it was very easy to get motion sick playing as the baby due to the low-to-the-ground camera angle.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Oh no, step stool, what are you doing?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Baby's Day Out

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

i feel like it because they just came from the void

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Ive had to tackle my kids to keep them out of traffic more times then I'd like to discuss