Hollywood: Cocaine Shark coming to a theater near you!
this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2023
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I feel like there's an opportunity to work Great White into the title, but I haven't had enough coffee to work it out yet lol
Great White Fury: A Shark Tale (?)
Cocaine dropped in water off coast of Florida could turn Great White into Mötley Crüe.
Make it Cocaine Sharknado and you'll really get butts into seats at the theater.
They could call it Lock Jaws 🤣
Damn, I clicked on this post just to make this joke.
New sequel to cocaine bear drops soon
From the makers of Cocaine Bear and Sharknado
In a world where sharks are already terrifying,
one drug lord decided to make them even worse.
[Cut to a shot of a drug cartel dumping a shipment of cocaine into the ocean.]
The cocaine is eaten by a school of sharks,
[Cut to a shot of the sharks swimming through the ocean, their bodies glowing with cocaine.]
and they become addicted.
[Cut to a shot of the sharks attacking a boat, their teeth dripping with blood.]
BWAAAAAA
Now, these bloodthirsty sharks are on the loose,
[Cut to a shot of the sharks swimming up the Hudson River, their fins cutting through the water.]
and they're looking for their next fix.
[Cut to a shot of the sharks attacking a group of people on a pier, their jaws snapping shut.]
BWAAAAAA
There's only one thing that can stop them:
[Cut to a shot of a team of shark hunters getting ready to board a boat.]
a team of elite shark hunters.
[Cut to a shot of the shark hunters fighting off the sharks, their guns blazing.]
BWAAAAAA
But even they may not be enough to save the world
[Cut to a shot of the sharks swimming towards the Statue of Liberty, their fins cutting through the water.]
from these COCAINE SHARKS.
[Cut to a shot of the sharks jumping out of the water and crashing into the Statue of Liberty, knocking it over.]
BWAAAAAA
BWAAAAAA
BWAAAAAA
Coming soon to a theater near you.
Rated R.
This sounds like some hyped up speculated bullshit…
“But he said he hopes the TV programme, due to air later this month”
Oh yep, there it is.
I mean, this just feels like Florida on any random day.
F to doubt. Coke bales been floating in our waters here in FL for close to 60 years. This whole article is stupid, no shit the sharks liked the baitball they put in the bale... you think it's gonna wanna swallow a block of something that tastes like gasoline?
shaknado incoming?
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