I'll start. Every night we do story hour. I read from seven* until eight, each night. Each week we max out the library card. I'm usually pretty proud of that part of my parenting.
*or as soon as they've done teeth and pyjamas
Tonight, nothing would do but that I extemporised a story. We call these make-em-ups. I usually like a little improv, but tonight I am tired. I try to chump him with a stolen bit of Chrono Trigger that he's familiar with. I fess up at the end, hoping honesty pardons the crime.
"No daddy, it's got to be something you made up."
The tank is empty, so I think what short stories I know from start to finish. Some imp on my shoulder whispers "scorpion and the frog".
You must understand, this is a kid who enjoys the Thriller music video and has sat through the original Ghostbusters without fear. Not even the tunnel scene in Willy Wonka had much effect on him.
Still, I wouldn't have chosen it normally, but once I started I decided I'd best tell it properly, with the appropriate mounting dread and surprise poke near the end.
Oh shit, did he cry when he realised it wasn't a happy ending. No matter how tough they seem, never forget that kids can be so tender-hearted.
Smoothed things over with a bit of Shel Silverstein in the end, but I think I really did some damage there. I hope he can forgive me.