Okay, been a little quiet for reasons.

@[email protected]

I've been waiting for this to go live to get back about how you can help. This is one way. https://transjustice.org.au/

Support the trans justice project. I suggest this as they seem really well organised and this project is happening now.

You could also suggest the company you work for do inclusivity training, Transgender Victoria offer what I understand to the best of this. https://tgv.org.au/training

Of course, there are many organisations you can donate to or volunteer with who support and or advocate for trans, gender diverse, non binary and intersex people. As well as the two above organisations, there is

https://transcend.org.au/

https://www.minus18.org.au/

https://www.switchboard.org.au/

All of these utilise skills from a huge range of fields so pretty much anything you can do they can use. There are more too, but these are the one's I can vouch for. Unfortunately queer orgs are low on the list of many government support initiatives so many of these organisations really do need money and or volunteers to continue their work. I volunteer a couple of afternoons a week, the odd Saturday and then a little bit every day for my role. I suggest you support these organisations as working alone can be challenging and they know what they're doing. Apart from that, keep up the anti-discriminatory language vibe here, it's a big deal for me personally to feel supported and safe here. Mental health outcomes are poor for a lot of trans people and I have to actively work on mine by only living in safe spaces. We all ultimately have to advocate for ourselves too. Some people have a lot less capacity for that than I do though and this outlet here forms part of that capacity. <3

Thanks Nath, Rusty and the whole DT family. Like, a whole lot!!! <3

EDIT< A single tear just ran down my cheek and under my chin after I posted this. I'm ok!

Oh yeah, see what I mean about the downvotes? ffs.

lmao. it's all my posts now. wow. someone is reading, well done, you have no idea about the level of persistence I'm capable of.

So, my downvoter is obviously targetting anything I wrote with obvious transgender references. Mods, I can't report them, but its very obvious. I can't even block them. It's deliberate and designed to wear me down. People say, be resilient, but that doesn't help. People say their allies, but it's all talk and no real action. .

Also, Nath, Please take the time to read the report into trans hate. https://transjustice.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2023/08/Fuelling-Hate-Anti-Trans-Abuse-Harassment-and-Vilification-WEB-SINGLES-1-1.pdf

It's pointless writing no transphobia if you don't know how to recognise it, where it comes from or what to actually do about it. Blocking and banning people does nothing, people just re-sign up and continue their beligerence in a new name. This is why I'm thinking of leaving and it means the transphobic loser wins. It's highly likely to be one of the regular posters here too.

There was a show on channel 7 last night again spreading complete lies about trans and gender diverse people and used people's photos without their consent. This is real and why I'm not in the mood much to report people here. I'll be writing complaint letters today and helping those who are now suffering because of their parents and such watched this crap and are fielding questions on where to turn for support. I do all this as a volunteer. I have a normal job too. I'm about at my capacity of dealing with the microaggressions and I'd like you to use what powers you have to stop the fucker from downvoting trans content. It seems silly and small, but no one else has been targeted.

Also remember, I now am about to catch public transport to about the only safe job I can find at the moment looking obviously trans the morning after this bullshit aired. It's not that I'll think I'll be targeted, but it's fucking anxiety inducing. Just remember, I'm not making up straw man arguments to bitch. I could a victim, THIS MORNING.

Sorry kids, have a nice day and enjoy bacon's breakfast.

Super keen to hear Chaka Khan and Chic in concert. But I don't want to pay. Anyone else keen to sit on a blanket outside the fence and just listen? We could also dance. We've all seen bands and light shows and those people are old. They'll be amazing and it's the jazz fest so I'm hoping it's disco with jazz flair. Cos seriously chic although paying a shit ton of my bills over the years are done to death. Chaka Khan on the other hand could sing the fucking phone book and I'd be balling my eyes out at AB.

My apologies for ranting a lot this week. I have had serious doses of both misogyny and misgendering from people who really should be better recently and this place is my journal and vent. Still, I understand we don't come here just to complain. I don't want to offend men or sound like a basher, all the guys here are great. So again, I'm sorry if my misandry has made anyone feel isolated or frustrated. Its unfair to paint every man with the same brush and the last thing I should be doing here is creating any kind of tension or division. Because misandry is as bad as misogyny and we all should be looking at ways to reduce both. nuff said I think.

I just passed six months on hrt and did myself up really nice to go to dinner with a new friend last night. She couldn't make it and I waited 45 minutes for her, drove for an hour between home and fitzroy and back and of course spent two hours prettying myself up for the affair. I still felt absolutely amazing anyway and she really needed to spend time securing a safe place to live. Gender euphoria is reported less than than all the bad stuff and bad press about having a gender incongruence, but it's a completely beautiful natural high which can last moments or hours. Last night I didn't want to go to bed as it was one of the times it kept giving. My physique is changing more rapidly now and it's pretty fucking fun and so rewarding. thx for reading. Yesterday and today are real milestones in my journey.

Everything came up milhouse at the gp today. I'm healthy af, ideal weight, hormone levels are exactly where they should be and my bp and ecg are so bloody normal I feel basic.

If the matlidas win and I have a nice walk along the beach in the sun it'll be perfect. Wish the game didn't start at 8pm though, there's no way I'll stay up for the whole thing.

What to eat for the game though? I think the usual rice cakes marg and low salt vegemite will do fine. Staying away from processed foods, sugar and booze are obviously doing wonders for me. After the total glum and transphobia of last week, I feel positively fucking on fire. Thanks Milho

r/melbourne has become a current affair in text form.

Not enough is said about the blood on everyone's hands from their cocaine use. For about every ounce, there's a death. The cut to shit over priced ego powder has ruined Columbia and destroyed a million families. I'll continue my crusade, but it's almost pointless. People just don't give a shit unless its in their backyard. But hey, 15 minutes of thinking your better than everyone else is al worth it.

Quitting vapes has been easier than I thought. God what a fucking waste of money. GP bulk billed my telephone appt. Amazing weather. Cats are happy. Friends have been in touch, they're both related to my old workplace so I do have some nice memories and reflections of it finally. I still have daily violent fantasies of kneecapping or bashing the brains in of the person there who sexually assaulted and harassed me and also undermined my work but I think that's part of the healing process. I hope I don't see him though. I'm a pacifist and he can probably fight, but it might be ugly.

Work was good, took my colleague for some driving practise before their license test tomorrow. She's another trans woman and working with and chatting with her has been fantastic. I'm not saying cis people are an issue to work with as my boss and other colleagues are also wonderful, but talking to someone who gets almost every bit of what I'm experiencing because they're experiencing too is really nice. She's also not at all the stereotypical trans woman either so we can also bitch about the gatekeepers and the lack of a real trans "tribe".

Another kinda busy night of aa and such and some food, then bed before 9. Fuck it's nice to feel like I'm in control of my future and my plans keep coming up milhouse.

Thanks for reading.

This is going to be my last vape. Vaping is a hangover from my last bender, which lasted about 5 weeks. Easier to quit booze than nicotine, the craving for booze comes after the first drink but doesn't persist after I stop for long at all. Nicotine however is a different story. I have those lozenges to defeat the cravings and a plan to wean myself off them over a couple of weeks if I need to. 50 days sober today, so the end of vaping is how I'll celebrate this milestone.

Only walked 4ks at work, so need to do another 6 today and luckily the weather is pretty perfect for it.

One or both of the cats chewed my keyboard cable through. I semi fixed it but just went and bought a cheap bluetooth keyboard. I was out for many hours and they were bored. They are not fooled by the birds youtubes anymore. This mean I'm finally going to have to put all cables in under rugs and gaff others plus put the mouse away when I go out. The kitten got himself locked in the closet for a little while and mumma was scratching at the door. She's so protective and knows how to communicate with me through her movements. It's pretty special. Two months with the little darlings and I'm loving them very much at this stage. Crazy cat lady I'm becoming. New work is better than expected and I can leave it at work.

Still haven't heard confirmation from my old manager which is par for the course. Just terrible at communication, but always a fucking know it all. I'll escalate it to his group manager on Monday, if not. He'll have had all weekend by then. Stupid cunt. Most spineless piece of shit I've ever had the displeasure of working with. Sleazy, lazy and badly trained. Nuff said. I've decided I will got through with some further action against them as well but I'm not sure exactly what, work safe wil be called first anyway. Artists don't have a very good union but I have no desire to let them get away with the bullshit they get away and the constant sexual harrassment of staff is just fucking disgusting and I've always spoken out about it but no one else has. Everyone sat in my car talking about how bad it was, then did the same thing when it suited them or they were intox on booze and whatever other drugs they could find on the floor. Resentful it turns out I still am.

The only decision I have to make tonight is whether to wear my cute new little denim skirt over my leggings to the aa meeting or not. Tough call.

This place is soothing though and putting it down in writing is therapy indeed.

Again, thanks to all you good humans for endless words of support over the last year. Its been a challenging and rewarding year and I'm so glad I've had people I don't know all that well to journal with. You all rock and I wish we could all be in a room together right now so I could cry and tell you how much I've grown to love you all in person individually.

aaah, many swears old workplace resignation letter sent. I was super stressed right after then but and an aa friend called very soon after which was at just the right time. First time I'd wanted to drink in a month. That call, food, an anti anxiety med and some strong camomile tea and I'm deeply at ease again and feel like booze would be a very bad idea. End of an epoch of my life. I worked there for almost 17 years and they've always had shit management which really failed me when I needed their support. I expected a lot more solidarity from the staff also but received absolutley none, not even an are you ok? I'd given mine so freely and to my own detriment as the most senior member of staff. They're all on my resentment list. FUCK THEM! Their memories will fade away as I make better connections and they'll still be spineless psycophants. I deliberately avoid places I may see them because I really don't like my chances of keeping my cool around them. Ok, rant over. No stew made, but I think dinner is planned with some aa people after this evening's meeting. end rant, thanks for reading dear DT friends.

Everythings coming up Milhouse. New job is good, exercise and money. Close enough to home and might be really close after training. aa is working. Finally got some closure on my previous shit cunts of employers and co workers, can resign and move on with life. Holiday is over and I have a new job. Also got news my son and mum are coming down for a couple of weeks in August. Got interviewed yesterday for a trans book and photo exhibition. So much positivity going around. Service work today, aa and my organistiion. Cook another vege stew, go for a walk, another meeting and then bed. My days are full of joy at the moment. Plus constantly playing with the cats. They are super happy at the moment. I got some treats from Aldi. They love them a bit too much but it's bringing us closer.

Did some more voluteer work today. Public transport anxiety relieved. It was fine. Had a job interview straight after and I got it! I was lucky that I got my shit together when I did and started applying for jobs just to get into the habit. It's average pay and humble work which will pay the bills. The owner is great and at least it's award wage and she looks after her workers. Potentially will start working locally as well in time so would be able to walk to work. Mostly queer staff, lots of trans people apparently. Not sure how great that will be yet, but at least I won't face transphobia at work. It's going to be hard work and it won't do me any harm to do a job I can at least leave at work even if I spend the time looking at my watch. My only worry is that my back is starting to hurt but I spent a lot of time standing on hard floors this weekend. Being biologically female now means it will take longer to get work fit than in the past, but that's ok too. Start Wednesday so I have some time to do some stretching and get into my warm up routine. It's a fucking relief to not have to start spending too much of my savings.

I had a very decent music career for a long time, but I've had issues with most of that time. It is run by mysoginistic cunts and when I stepped out of that and moved into nightclubs they were still run by mysgonistic cunts. My last employer was a total wolf in sheeps clothing. At least I have a real connection with my new boss. We worked for the same queer magazine in different cities over 20 years ago. Back when those jobs were very low pay and we did them for the community moreso than having a disposable income. Now I'm in recovery I also want to step away from the alcohol industry. It feels kinda inauthentic to be so adamant about being sober for life and then profiting from alcohol sales. At least at this point and to take sobriety seriously I can't step foot in a bar for a while.

So this cat alarm and getting early nights have paid off. Thanks kitties. Couldn't have done this without you. Little miracles. They get extra playtime tomorrow. That'll do for today. Thx for reading