It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc
“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”
So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned
1.) ableist language=post or comment will probably get removed (enforced case by case, some comments will be removed and restored due to complex situations). repeated use of ableist language=banned from comm and possibly site depending on severity. properly tagged posts with CW can use them for the purposes of discussing them
2.) always assume good faith when dealing with a fellow nd comrade especially due to lack of social awareness being a common symptom of neurodivergence
2.5) right to disengage is rigidly enforced. violations will get you purged from the comm. see rule 3 for explanation on appeals
3.) no talking over nd comrades about things you haven't personally experienced as a neurotypical chapo, you will be purged. If you're ND it is absolutely fine to give your own perspective if it conflicts with another's, but do so with empathy and the intention to learn about each other, not prove who's experience is valid. Appeal process is like appealing in user union but you dm the nd comrade you talked over with your appeal (so make it a good one) and then dm the mods with screenshot proof that you resolved it. fake screenies will get you banned from the site, we will confirm with the comrade you dm'd.
3.5) everyone has their own lived experiences, and to invalidate them is to post cringe. comments will be removed on a case by case basis depending on determined level of awareness and faith
4.) Interest Policing will not be tolerated in any form. Support your comrades in their joy!
Further rules to be added/ rules to be changed based on community input
RULES NOTE: For this community more than most we understand that the clarity and understandability of these rules is very important for allowing folks to feel comfortable, to that end please don't be afraid to be outspoken about amendments and addendums to these rules, as well as any we may have missed
There are two songs that can emotionally wreck me and both are associated with people I only went on a few dates with 
I don’t know shit, but I think this means I’m not over those people. Not even my ex did this to me.
If this makes sense, the thought of willingly subjecting myself to this feeling again seems awful but the crying kinda helps. Fuck
Really appreciate this post, you’ve been very vulnerable and shared a ton
I share a lot of your feelings and so much of what you’re saying is so damn relatable. I tried to put it into words awhile back but I think you so much for saying that about what rejection is actually about
I’ve seriously wrestled with this for the longest time—the crushing fact that I’ll never be able to be with some people because of fundamental incompatibility. I’ve spent nights bawling about this very idea though, because “if I checked off all of these boxes and managed a date, why don’t they want to continue hanging out? Oh yeah, it’s because of that thing I did which most people see as a red flag/weird” (i.e. not normal).
Also, Covid kinda messed me up. I guess you’ll have to take me at my word, but I used to be a semi-normal (or at least could very easily pass as neurotypical) person. Wish I wouldn’t have discovered dating until after 😮💨
If my experience can help someone else it will feel less like needless suffering lol
What you call "fundamental incompatibility" is something everyone experiences. Even the "normal" people (they don't exist btw. This is part of the reason I prefer the terms neurotypical and neurodivergent because "typical" and "divergent" can describe a range of phenotypes rather than some binary system that only serves extremes). For a stark example, someone who is religious is less likely to want to be with a person that's not religious. That doesn't mean that the secular person in this example should torture themselves with "why couldn't I just believe in God so I could be with this person?"
That vulnerability cliff hurts a lot more to those people with trauma or atypical brains (kind of the same thing but I'm not going into those weeds). The really difficult part is telling that part of your brain it's okay to feel those things. Personally I avoid every emotion I could possibly exhibit ever to avoid attention, which I associate with humiliation even when the attention is good. The deprogramming starts with observing your reactions and learning to unburden your system from these protective jobs. Strongly encourage you to look into IFS because it probably saved my life
Focusing on your last comment:
You're probably familiar with the term "masking." Whether it's something systemic and unstable like the pandemic, personal relationships failing, or otherwise, eventually your system hits a critical point. Your system sort of exhausts itself from the act it's playing, that mask falls off and the system freaks out because now everyone can see it's different. Saying that you were a "semi-normal" person tells me you still struggle seeing yourself as defective or lesser because you feel things, or you can't handle stresses you could before. I think after that demasking happens, either the first time ever or as an adult, it's hard to accept you can't go back to pretending your brain operates within the typical range
At the end of the day I'm talking through a lot of my process and experiences, and I don't expect that all of this applies to you. However I do understand what it feels like to have that supreme lack of confidence in who you are because of a perceived regression. So I will tell you nothing is ever perfect but it does improve over time when you do the work
Yup, this almost describes an exact situation I was in with someone I’m still having trouble getting over :/ I’m not exactly sure why we were not compatible, but I think it had a lot to do with my mannerisms and how I interacted with other people (which is unfortunately a crucial factor I never thought about). I just look at them and see them as more normal (first thing that comes to my mind) even though I know that’s a bit silly to say because how exactly do you gauge normalcy?
I guess what I’m struggling to comprehend is that if everyone experiences this, why does it seem to feel so heightened/different?