this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
191 points (77.8% liked)

Asklemmy

43945 readers
751 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
191
What is a gender neutral replacement for man, guys, buddy, etc? (lemmy.ca)
submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
415 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (3 children)

Yep. It's a name for teen boys or for men that are significantly younger than the speaker. Typically said by men rather than women too.

No one says "Hey buddy" to a teen girl, or to a woman a couple of decades younger than them

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago

Interesting, I use it pretty much interchangeably with "friend".

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm not no one. Buddy can be used for pretty much anyone. You're definitely right about it addressing younger people though.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

My boyfriend’s nephew calls me buddy and I am a woman about ten years older than him, we are both adults so he isn’t a confused toddler either. It might vary regionally. It simply means friend in our case. I don’t think he is trying to make me out to be younger than him. Maybe it is his way of declaring I am “one of the guys”, however.