Asklemmy

43812 readers

998 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

122

is telling your employer you may leave if passive aggressive coworkers don't stop gossiping about you behind your back and gaslighting you a good idea? (linux.community)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

49 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I always thought of it like this: if a workplace makes you feel devalued or is toxic (gaslighting and ranting about you behind your back), you quietly find new pastures.

Now, however, I think this is the wrong approach: why do I have to accept they bully me? I should defend myself. And doesn't the manager have to make sure a workplace ain't toxic? Instead of quietly looking for a new job next time this happens, wouldn't it be better to confront, document and escalate instead of letting it go? even if HR only exists to protect the company and not me.

If HR and manager do nothing to address the problem, wouldn't it be a better strategy to start working the least possible and let the company fire me, while looking for another job?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

How do you sue without a smoking gun in an at will employment state? I have felt discriminated against several times in my workplace, but it is only a feeling. I worry that any attempt at a lawsuit would only leave me unemployed.

I don’t have evidence—the interactions are all person to person. It seems like it would be easy for the supervisor to say “I didn’t say that”, “I didn’t mean that”, or “it was for other reasons”, and I would have nothing to fall back on.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

First of all. I‘m not on the US so I‘m not familiar to the situation there. However, at will employment imo means that the state you work in could not give two shits about you and I would never stay there.

Besides that, education and writing stuff down helps to both understand your situation and improve it. If you just have a „feeling“ you might want to sit down and think about it. There might be different things happening. Either someone just doesnt like you, or you dont like them. Do they imply things that are connected to you being a minority? If you can single out these situations in writing, you might find out whats going on. Thats how it went for me.