I’m pretty close with this person outside of work and we used to have good non-work conversations but now I feel all I get is stories and photos of her children. We work in a tight knit team so I can’t really avoid them.
I got no less than 3 updates this weekend about a sports event with her kids including photos; more photos and another update about said event this morning; another photo of another child; updates about what her toddler was doing, and updates about how her kid made the track and field team and she absolutely needs to take time off work to go.
I don’t ask for this and I don’t really respond when she does it. I prefer to talk about other things. We used to talk about other things and now it’s kids 99% of the time to the point where it feels really one-sided. I tried to talk about a concert I went to this weekend and got really lukewarm reception.
I’m thinking I need to tone it down and say goodbye to the relationship/chit chat for a while? I feel if I tell her bluntly I’m tired of hearing about her children it will hurt her feelings. Any ideas?
See, it's annoying, but at least these are people who genuinely wanted kids and who take good care of them. It's especially nice to see dads fangirl over their kids, because historically it's been acceptable for dads to take a back seat. I get much more annoyed when I see people who can't pay their bills as it is and think now is a GREAT time to have another kid, or when a woman is pregnant with her fourth kid from fourth baby daddy and the first three have already been left to fend for themselves. Loved and wanted and responsibly produced kids aren't a hill I'm looking to die on.
There are better and worse ways to tell someone that they're annoying. You know them better than we do and can better predict how they'll respond, but saying something along the lines of "hey it seems like you've been really busy with your kids, totally fine, let me know when you have time to catch up" would work in a lot of cases. There's nothing wrong with telling people that you have a life outside of childcare. Of course, it's possible that you might grow apart, but that's OK if you're comfortable with it - you're not stuck in your existing social circle. Take this opportunity to go out and meet new people.