No Stupid Questions
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Beetlejuice.
Cthulhu.
Any of the high-ranked demons and devils.
Any of the gods.
The fairy godmother.
If you've got a pair of ruby shoes, maybe the wicked witch of the west or something.
The monster under your bed.
Chris Hansen.
FBI, ATF, SWAT, IRS if you're in US.
A thief.
TELL ME HOW TO DO THESE. EXPLAIN THE PROCEDURE STEP BY STEP.
Any procedure to summon cthulhu is made up, so make one up. Or if it makes you feel better I'll make one up:
Cook long pasta to aldente, then spread it all over the floor, then roll around it in while praising the noodly limbs of cthon, and asking the eldritch god to wrap you up and take you to the realm between dimensions. And I dunno, pat your head and rub your tummy at the same time to confuse yourself. Confusion and the unknown are the key when it comes to eldritch beings. Add spooky LED lights that shift from green to purple.
So is any procedure to summon anything above Chris Hansen on that list.
Anything that doesn't enclude wasting food ?
Look Cthulhu demands sacrifice, but if you can't swing pasta maybe try pipe cleaners? You might end up with crafthulhu tho.
Can i just kill something like a mosquito ?
Beetlejuice is simple. 3 times the name.
Cthulhu is a bit complicated. You need deep sea aquatic components, maybe fuck a fish, live in an isolated fishing community, stuff like that.
Each demon/devil has its own ritual, so you'll have to look them up by name.
For the gods, you need to commit some sacrilege if you want a quick and dirty response.
For the fairy godmother you need to be poor, orphan, have evil step family that doesn't get stuck in washing machines and only own rags.
For the Oz trip, you need to wear a pair of ruby shoes, get high, spin around three times and click your heels while fervently chanting "There's no place like home." Obviously it only works when you're not home.
For the monster under your bed, the main thing is thst you need to sleep on your bed with a limb or body part of choice sticking out or touching ground. After that, it depends on your monster mostly. Each one has its own preferences. Some like it when you're clean, others only want dirty or stinky body parts. Some drag you under the bed and eat you whole, others just kill you because you annoy them. It's all very individualistic.
For the rest there are many guides online, I'm not going to bother explaining them.
That isn't how it works.
Go give it a try.
I aldready did several times