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submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

So I landed a really nice job with a really cool company and they plan on hiring me this March, but before they can do that I need to pass a drug test. My manager personally doesn't care whether or not I smoke weed but I live in a state where weed is illegal, and the company does care and would bar me from hiring if I were to fail a drug test.

I was stupid and smoked a fuck ton of weed last Sunday (before I knew that A; I need to take a drug test in the first place, and B; that weed can remain present in urine for up to (and possibly over) 30 days in frequent smokers (which I am)). This would originally have been fine if it weren't for the fact that after agreeing to the background check, I would be scheduled for a drug test by the 13th (within 4 days). So my original plan to just drink a shit ton of water to flush myself out within a month wouldn't work.

I also had a plan to sneak in a jar of my sober friend's pee but then I learned that you're actually required to pee in front of the observer so that plan wouldn't work either.

So basically I'm fucked and I don't know what to do :( My future pretty much depends on this job and I don't know what I would do if I were to fuck this opportunity up. What do I do?

Also, idk how relevant this is but I'm 5'9" (~175 cm), 160 lbs (~72.6 kg), AMAB, and very infrequently exercise. I also have POTS so I sweat frequently and have poor water retention.

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[-] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Okay OP, witness my genius

  1. get a friends pee
  2. get 50% of it to evaporate
  3. bring it with you to the bathroom
  4. put hot water from the faucet into the concentrated room-temperature pee, making up for the 50% that evaporated

Now you have perfect piss at body temperature

(I don't smoke btw)

[-] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Maybe the restroom might not have hot water? got you covered

get some hot water from a 7/11 beforehand. They'll probably give it to you in a paper coffee cup.

empty the hot water into a water bottle. If asked, just say you're drinking it

bring it with you in the bathroom and use to dilute the concentrated pee

this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
71 points (100.0% liked)

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