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How to get started as a "side" on Grindr/Romeo? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm young, I'm male, I'm gay and a "side" (side = neither top nor bottom, I just don't like anal sex at all).

The question might be weird, but serious: How do I get started with non-anal sex (e.g. oral, handjobs or frotting)?

I'd like to start using Grindr or similar and meet people, but:

not liking anal sex eliminates what most people like to do. Are there even people on Grindr like me? Most of the profiles are like "top", "bottom", "versatile", but all with a focus on anal sex.
oral sex is kind of a difficult topic. Doing it without a condom with a person you've never seen before feels unsafe. Doing it with a condom feels weird.
When doing handjobs or frotting, at least the topic "safer sex" is pretty much gone, but it could be difficult to find people for that.
should I try to get something like PrEP? Is it even worth it in my situation when I'm at "step zero"?

Anyone here with a similar situation or with tips for me?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I don't think "top" and "bottom" strictly refer to anal sex. I'd say it's more about position in general.

I can't say I'm too familiar with the specifics of Grindr, but I'd imagine that you could use your bio to communicate these things.
Perhaps there you could add the desire for no anal, as well as the preference for safe sex.