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Would someone please help me understand when using "they" as a catch-all pronoun is transphobic? (hexbear.net)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I've seen a few posts recently calling people out for using "they" when referring to someone with gendered or neo pronouns.

As a long time dumb guy I was under the impression that gender neutral pronouns were basically always acceptable and I'm now concerned that I have been unintentionally making people uncomfortable.

My current understanding based on context is that once someone has made their pronouns known, unless specifically included, 'they' is no longer acceptable. Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me out

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Yeah, that's definitely the impression i'd be getting in that situation, but that situation isn't exactly ideal to begin with. I know that there's edge cases like people who are questioning or closeted, which make practices like pronoun circles tricky for those people because that either forces a premature outing or a self-misgendering on someone. There's really no ideal solution that will cover all cases. But as a rule of thumb, i think we should just normalize stating your pronouns without making that something that feels coercive, and if that falls flat for some reason, i prefer pronoun avoidance over they / them, because that actually is a neutral option.