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Would someone please help me understand when using "they" as a catch-all pronoun is transphobic? (hexbear.net)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I've seen a few posts recently calling people out for using "they" when referring to someone with gendered or neo pronouns.

As a long time dumb guy I was under the impression that gender neutral pronouns were basically always acceptable and I'm now concerned that I have been unintentionally making people uncomfortable.

My current understanding based on context is that once someone has made their pronouns known, unless specifically included, 'they' is no longer acceptable. Thank you in advance for taking the time to help me out

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

In my own anecdotal experience, some people, consciously or otherwise, will continue to refer to trans people as 'they' after it's been made apparent what their identity is.
It could be inferred that they're uncomfortable with stating a trans person's identified gender because they don't 'believe it', which implies their usage of they/them is not simply being overly cautious or polite but because they don't want to acknowledge said identity.
This would also apply to people using neopronouns too - refusing to use them essentially implies that you don't believe in them and don't acknowledge that person's right to determine their own identity.