this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
211 points (97.7% liked)
Not The Onion
12272 readers
1452 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
CEO: "We have observed through careful analysis that by locking our customers inside the restaurant, they will continue to order food from us in order to not starve. Therefore, from now on, all doors shall now be one way only"
Investors: "What brilliant entrepreneurship!"
This CEO is so entitled he's completely flipped the last few centuries of capitalist economic theory on its head.
No longer is capitalism about convincing business owners or consumers to invest in your product or business. Now, the consumer is lucky to have had the opportunity to purchase your product, as though you are a king or deity; magnanimous in your product offering.
They should be so lucky, to be forced to pay you a monthly tithing for your racketeering.