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Well, lemmy.ml still needs to serve you the content the first time in order to cache it. And since you're the only person in your instance, you're the only person benefiting from that cache. So you're still exerting at least the same load as if you were browsing lemmy.ml directly.
Not quite accurate... although probably reasonably close.
The activitypub transaction is just a small amount of text. The formatting and display of the page and tracking of user sessions and other transactional data that you would need to handle for the user itself...
Ultimately server->server transactions are much simpler and easier than server->user transactions.
Edit: one user instances are not helping much... But the moment you get 2 or more eyeballs on the same content on a remote instance... it starts to matter. Start a local instance with 10-100 users? You're making a large dent in traffic on the origin (in relation to the content origin) server's usage.