What's helped me is a combination of physical exercise (which helps against feelings of unrest that may be bothering me) and sort of sliding into the subject, tackling the easier parts first and from there riding the dopamine wave.

But yeah, it doesn't get any easier.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I kinda... Need it to?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

That's where therapy for you comes in. Gotta figure out how to get used to it, because adhd is for life.

It might help you to think of your son having adhd as being functionally the same if he was paraplegic.

ADHD isn't a chemical imbalance like depression. It's a developmental disorder where something happened to his brain while he was a fetus, and now his frontal/prefrontal cortex doesn't function correctly.

It's literally a disability, so you don't cure it, you learn to work around it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

After a half a decade or so, I do feel as if I could use some counseling. So many quick and intense feelings that I've never had to deal with before have left me feeling somewhat whiplashed - reactive and grouchy... I'll try to make room in my life for some talk therapy down the road. Meanwhile we're seeking options to help him manage his symptoms. Thanks

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

If your son having adhd is a struggle for you, then therapy needs to be now, not later. Otherwise there's a chance you might start resenting him, and those feelings can be hard to get rid of after they get established.

Or, at least read some self help books specifically for parents of adhd children.

My wife figured out she was on the spectrum not too long ago, and me getting therapy and reading books for people in my situation really helped with being patient and understanding.

But, I made the mistake of waiting until things became an actual problem before doing it, so it's been a struggle for me to not struggle with it.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Depending on how old your kid is, it might or it might not improve. The frontal lobe of their brain still has a lot of development left in children; right up until they’re about 25. This may improve things.

Also, please don’t be one of those parents who discounts meds. They can really help a lot. And no, they’re not addictive (in fact, people with ADHD are more likely to forget them than to use them recreationally).

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Thank you. Sincerely. My parents are the ones who have been working on me, trying to play it off as no big deal and trying to scare me away from pharmaceuticals. "Everyone I knew who ever abused pills was medicated as a child," and other shit like that.

Currently he's very young, and I have heard that the presentation changes with age. I have some hope. An older friend with ADHD tells me that his memories of being this age were like that of "being a feral animal", and he marvels at what mine is capable of already. That's the frustration of it for me, he's so bright and I only get to see it a few moments at a time. I want to bask in his glow my whole life.