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We should defederate from programming.dev
(hexbear.net)
I don't think I really need to explain much, their admins are transphobic. 
https://hexbear.net/post/1587342
Snowe, an admin, complained about a transgender person being offended over being misgendered. Ategon made an apology post but keeps snowe on, no public apologies from snowe to the transgender people affected.
Textbook 
note: conversation about Ategon's use of the word triggered edited out, might be misunderstanding, need clarified
Gotcha, thanks.
I can accept this partially (and will only agree to it if the other trans people in that thread, principally of which, @[email protected], agrees to accept it) , though the comments in the instance admin thread are vile, and many are attacking @[email protected] and calling her an idiot or a troll for wanting to be gendered correctly. Will this be rectified, will bans be handed out to obvious transphobes?
Im trying to deal with the situation but this has been a pain to try to manage especially since its workdays, going to try to deal with the uncivil comments in the thread. Usually we do a multiple strike system for this kind of thing since people can change
I appreciate the workload thing, genuinely. that said, this isn't the first time we've run into transphobia from snowe. and generally, asking minorities who are already being targeted by the society at large to suffer more in what should be a safe space in order to protect the feelings of someone in the majority just flatly sucks. in the politest terms, I encourage you to reflect on this.
that thread has unmoderated speculation about whether or not we're actually trans - an accusation we all receive from medical professionals, right-wing political actors, and our own abusive families. it's triggering for a lot of us. an admin for your instance setting it all off by telling us what we should and shouldn't be hurt by is a nasty cherry on a shit cake. does your instance stand up to protect the marginalized or will you allow latent bigotry to drive us all out?
these are real questions you need to answer for yourself - not us. if you fail to act, you will not have any trans or otherwise queer users (except those who make alts for specific purposes). is that the kind of community you wish to foster - one that exists purely for cishet white dudes hot off of reddit and the orange hellsite? moderation is a powerful tool you can actually use to shape your community - it neither stunts growth nor speech. the people you drive away are people you almost certainly don't want to attract - you're going to have a nazi bar problem. excessive tolerance for the intolerant only engenders intolerance.
can you link me to those comments with the speculation about that. I dealt with things but might have missed some of them but ive been trying to juggle doing a lot of things rn and they havent been sent into the reports
I'm sorry but no, I'm not going back into that thread. it was painful to read the first time and I'm not wading back into it. this also misses the point of what I said.
fair, I can check it over when im off work to see what I missed. We are attempting to improve things about how we deal with the actions and admin conduct in the future and im taking feedback here as well as in the other threads into account to help improve how we handle things in the future to refine the current stance on how we deal with them (including ways we deal with them Ive said in the past in this thread + some other areas, to look at and see if that can be improved which its been pointed out it can)
I'm not sure if this is what she's referring to, but from here
this post in particular it pissed me off specifically because it was up for like 12 hours, and when it was removed, the reason this comment was removed seemed like it was dancing around what the actual problem with the comment was:
Is the problem that it's instigating a conflict or that it is itself an expression rooted in transphobia which is provoking a response from users if it's not addressed by mods? Because as I see it this is actually a violation of user rules of both blahaj + programming.dev but because the target is acceptable (those hexbear tankies) it gets a blind eye until we make it an issue.
The comment there broke two rules, just chose one for the reason. Other one (transphobia) was more relevant to the comment itself and probably should have done that in the box, just been mostly trying to deal with things quick
Went through the reports including that one mostly at the same time when I got free time to do so which is why it took a bit
That's good to hear, I appreciate the difficulty in moderating, it's a lot of (unpaid) work. I did find the response upsetting, but the person in question has since apologized.