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what has worked for you to stop getting angry thinking about people who hurt you? (linux.community)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

50 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'm letting people who hurt me in the past live rent free in my mind.

One episode involves a former landlord that tried to run me over in an intersection with no traffic cameras.

Another one involves a manager that fired me for informing that one of his favorites yelled during night shift and ignored alarms to talk. He fired me the next day, used the exit interview to tell me everything I didn't do right (but kept quiet about his favorites, even though I did the job like them), still had the utmost confidence on his favorites, accused me of being lazy and instead of simply firing me and keeping neutral he chose to take it personal, proceeded to try to scare me insinuating I wouldn't work for his system again, when that failed, tried to humiliate me and then fired me. This was in an non union hospital.

When I think about it I get angry. Id like not to be so thin skinned, but here I am.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

people who hurt me in the past

The pain is inside you now.

Not in them. You can't give it back to them.

Even the best revenge (if you are maybe thinking about revenge) is not going to relieve the pain inside you - it would only create new, additional pain.

Forgiving is the way to go. And I'm not saying that it is easy, just saying that it is the way to go. Forgiving means to let them go free. Give up any wish for revenge. Decide that you are not going to bring it up against them anymore. Ever. Let go of the bad thoughts and then you can let go of the bad feelings too.

Make sure that you know (maybe tell someone, or write it down in a long letter that does not need to be sent) all of it when you try to forgive. It means, when you decide to let go, you rethink (only this one time) all that has happened and all the feelings it has caused - especially for this purpose of letting it go. And then you can let go.

And then this will set you free.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Holding on to feelings of anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.

Meditation and forgiveness help a lot.