this post was submitted on 05 Jan 2024
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I think people underestimate how much the physical state of your body, ie hormones brain structure etc play in how you make decisions.
When I was a lad I almost always knew I was making the wrong decisions but felt powerless in the moment to stop myself. I also had basically no concept of the future as a real thing that would happen and could be planned for until I was like 27 or so. Like the logical knowing things part of my brain knew the right moves but the doing things me rarely consulted with knowing things me.
Not to mention that kids have a serious lack of control over their own destinies.
I honestly think going back in time with all my memories is one of the worse hells I can imagine. Just doomed to watch myself fuck up in similar ways again and hope that it all works out "OK" this time too.