this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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I’m told that it is healthy to continue doing the things you associate with the person you lost, but I can’t seem to muster up any desire to do so.
My dad got me into Star Trek when I was a kid; he loved it and I idolized him, all I wanted to do was watch it with him but it came on after my bedtime and it was like a forbidden fruit. As an adult I watch The Next Generation start to finish every couple of years and I have for a long time.
Since he died I haven’t watched a single episode. The thought of it makes my stomach ache. I just can’t do it. I’m overdue for a watch and I just can’t make it happen.
Yeah, that's sounds right. I think I could force myself through it if it helps. But at the same time, I only ever followed the latest findings in order to have that conversation, so... I don't know. I guess I don't see the point (for me).
Right after he died, I got an achievement on GitHub because I contributed 2 lines of code to opencv and NASA used opencv on the Mars helicopter. I totally lost my shit. My dad would have thought that was the coolest thing even if my contribution was negligible. I guess I'm trying to say that whole part of me just feels completely meaningless now.
Lol. I don't where I'm going with all this. Stay strong dude.
Sometimes it’s cool to just write out the shit you’re trying to figure out, glad I could be a sounding board.