this post was submitted on 15 Dec 2023
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The Wilder tried to PK me about ten minutes later when I rejoined the group after a brief detour. Apparently she was incensed at the fact that I found a cheap way to make it so that I didn't have to listen to her but could prattle on like the old man my character was. Luckily, I hadn't been flatfooted, having good sight of her, and won the initiativen. So, I beat her stupidly high spell resistance and turned her into a newt, because my wizard was all about the classics. One mage hand later, and I held her newtified character in my hand and decided that I'd talk about about why the Newt Baleful Polymorph was such a classic. The Date Rape Psion and the Monk Psion both decided to defend her character and demanded that I release her at once. Not wanting everything to devolve into fighting, I played it off as if my Wizard thought that they wanted her released into their custody and told them that they looked like they could "handle any of the kid's hissy fits." He handed her over and began to walk off, "Forgetting" to undo the effect. They cleared their throats and got his attention about it, and I told them that they could hire a court mage to dispell it and they reminded me that mages were almost extinct. Oh! I then dispelled the baleful polymorph and went "silly me" and moved on. I think they were all pretty upset save the Magus who was being all sage and witch-doctor like in the background of all this and trying to keep the peace like a good guy..
Fish-Face, No-Chin, and That [F-slur] were clearly plotting since they'd take breaks to go off and huddle and were passing notes during the session in what they probably thought was a discreet manner. Maybe it's my trained eye for catching students texting, but they were really obvious about it. I figured they were going to gang up on me at some point, so I just kept a scroll of plane shift in one hand in case I had to escape, figuring being a wizard would let me excuse just happening to have a scroll ready. Fortunately, whatever was going to happen was put off when what was apparently the BBEG showed up to cause havoc and monologue at us. We were told that his "awe inspiring feats of psionic power" were terrifying even to the likes of us blah blah blah, we're obviously not supposed to fight him because he's too powerful. I would later find out that he was some level 40 psion/some psionic prestige class. Apparently he was trying to turn psions against non-psions blahblahblah, okay, he's a psion-supremicist not!Magneto.
Fish-Face tries to get my wizard killed by the BBEG by attacking him and rolling bluff to make it look like it was me before cheesing it. No-chin and That [F-slur] soon follow. The Good Guy Landwhale stays for like a round before he gets out of there too after my wizard assuring him that he'd be fine and to go. I was only really worried about losing my gear since I had a cloning lab set up in my Demiplane and would just appear there with a couple negative levels and no items, not that the others knew that. Those dicks just wanted my character to die. The BBEG looks at me and asks who dared to attack him. I played the part of a senile old man picking up his scrolls and looking through them while failing to make a coherent statement. While doing this, I ask the GM for a planes check so that what I'm about to do isn't metagaming. My obscenely high planes roll let me know, in the GM's Words "Everything about the Plane of Force" which was the specific plane that I wanted to know about. I manage to get out a read magic in the meantime which the GM is nice enough to not make me roll init for, and I activate a scroll of Time Stop that I had retrieved in the confused old man act. I get lucky on the roll and I've got five rounds to do whatever in. So what do I do? I cast planar adaptation on myself, pull out a scroll of gate, and slide on over to a specific point in the Plane of force, the point that psions that biggest psionic connection is.
Because of the various books that the GM had informed me that he had been using, I knew on a meta level that Psions are all connected to the plane of force. If you do it right, you can go on an easter scavenger hung and sever a psion's ties to the plane which is a lot like forcefully making a cleric or paladin lose the favor of their god, all those abilities go bye-bye. Since the GM was so kind as to tell me that I knew everything about the plane of force, I thought I'd go and ruin the BBEG's day. Now, I only had three rounds left in my time stop, and I didn't really want to risk the BBEG figuring out what happened and being trapped with a level 40 psion on the plane of force, wizard or not. So, I got busy and cast gate, a gate to the point where the place between the negative energy plane and the quasielemental plane of void. I then take advantage of the GM's oh so generous permenancy house rules and dump 25k gold worth of diamond dust- out of about a hundred thousand that I had on my person- on making that gate permenant. Not wanting to be there when the chaos from that started up, I renewed my time stop and plane shifted to the material world and watched the unfolding chaos.
Thanks to my second casting of Time Stop, I had another two rounds to do as I will, so I cast an extended black tentacles and greater invisibility on myself. After that, I just spammed maximized empowered enervates from a staff until the fucker died. with psionics fizzling out of existence, he was a level 40 commoner. Thankfully, there are no saving throws versus enervation, so he died quickly and the GM had no plot because psionics didn't exist anymore, the plane of force was gone.
WHAT? No, that can't be! Retcon time.
The GM changes it to before I started casting enervates and then he got dramatic about the earth shaking from the wild things being thrown out willy nilly by every psion in the material plane, and I managed to cast psionic resistance on myself, a spell that the GM had made available as an analogue to spell resistance since psions were everywhere, and that helped me avoid some nasty stuff that was being tossed in my direction. Every Psion was apparently discharging every power point they had at random. Because I used plane shift to get back to the material realm. The BBEG apparently still had his psionics under full control, and so I was confronted with a monologue of doom with psionic chaos being thrown around in the midst of it for drama. I pull out another scroll of timestop (because I had an asston of the things because why not?) and then I cast planar adaptation on myself and immediately left for one of many private demiplanes I have without waiting for him to finish. The BBEG followed me through what I assumed was GM fiat. So I cop out and get a scroll of Greater Demiplane out of my handy haversack, a scroll because I don't have six hours to actually cast the spell, so I can add a new property to the demiplane we were standing in. I chose "nonpsionic."
The GM stared at me blankly. I said that one of the many things you can do to a demiplane is make it so that there's no magic in it. Since he provided so many magical things that could affect psionics like psionic resistance, detect psionics, and other things for the sake of the setting and left it open to other things, I said that it was only logical that I could do it with a demiplane. He vetoed it by saying that the psions' connection to the plane of force is inherently different from magic, so it a demiplane couldn't block it out... even though there's such a thing as an anti-psionics field, but whatever. I personally think it was the GM not wanting his terrible BBEG to turn into a level 40 commoner again, but that's just my opinion. Since the GM vetoed letting me negate psionics. In this plane, I had a bunch of constructs of mine crafting shit because you can totally do that if you give them a brain. Expensive, but awesome. WHis demipane had the fire dominant elemental trate, so my constructs that healed with fire damage and got obscene ammount of hp per round and already had a buttload of temphp on top of their normal max because this is where they lived, so I cast dimensional anchor on the BBEG and used my control over the constructs to just have them drop what they were doing and mob him.
Greater invisibility > an antidetection spell > spam maximized empowered enervations.
And that, is how I got kicked out of a pathfinder group first session.