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Every night
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this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2023
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I'm still not convinced. Xd Why go to the Netherlands with astronomical rent and cost of everyday conduct when you are a freelancer? Why even rent, dont you have a family house where you could safely earn the money you need?
Okay I get it now. Im just a envious guy. :P
I have suffered for years. I have thoughts of blame, suicide and revenge all the time.
Lots of the time it comes down to the stress reaction of the body. One example is when I started taking the SSRI medication. I literally went nuts for 3 months. Wanting to go out of my way to hurt people and burn myself live in front of a political institution.
Since those days, Im keenly aware when Im trailing off to bullshit land. This never ending dreadful loop of thoughts. Very dependent on immediate physical state than anything else.
Other than shuffling chairs you can only really give a bit more to be able to get somewhere. This is the only way.