sdfpubnix

I'm sorry to hear you're that depressed and the future looks so dark. I was once exactly where you are, and had been for decades. If your therapist can put you on something to quell anxiety, use that opportunity to try baby steps that feel safe and mingle with the humans. Maybe a cooking class, or a trail hiking group; the focus is not on conversation but you can practice little by little. You will fail, but they'll be small failures, and eventually you will get a win. You can even discuss and craft the plan with your therapist and come back next week to talk about how the meetup / interest group / class went. Another thing, be very selective about whom you call 'friend'. Don't connect with people who don't build you up. There -is- a way out, and you can proceed safely at your own pace. Bestest of luck.