Homestuck

Dave jokes that this new webcomic is over 3000 pages and that he doesn't have time for this bullshit. That one hurts.

He’s chatting with Rose. She suggests that his lack of attention to her is a sign of disrespect, or “flagrant homosexuality”. She then strokes his already inflated ego in an attempt to get him to play SBURB. It seems Dave was her first choice in gaming companions. He drops some choice words (one which is definitely inappropriate by today's standard). He suggests he’d only play SBURB if her life somehow depended on it. A promise is a promise.

Back to the present John is spacing out next to the Alchemizer. I suppose he’s unsure what to do now that Rose isn't providing directions. The door to his house seems to be jostling and leaking black ooze. Upon inspection the trail of ooze leads to his room. I wonder how that smells?

Back to Dave in the past. He’s going to show his music skills. We get to play with the mixer a bit, though I'm not remotely musically gifted enough to know what to do with that. He celebrates this by attempting to drink his juice but failing as John had made him think it was monster pee. It's weird he can re-captchalogue the juice and it appears to get reseal with a lid despite the lid.

But the icon is deceiving. As when attempting to equip; a ninja sword he ejects the juice all over his mixer and his SBURB beta. These modus I swear I’d be dead in like 30 seconds. I’d wake up and somehow eject my cell phone through my liver. Dave's goal is now to get a towel, he leaves his room. Like John's dad or Roses mom, Dave's brother has the house decorated with a weird theme. In his case it's radical puppets”, and Dave wants to avoid encountering him. Having 2 older brothers myself, this one I completely understand. You can only have your face farted so many times. Fortunately, the bathroom was just across the hall. So this goal was quick and uneventful. I suspect Dave's place is really small. Dave cleans up the beta’s and hangs them to dry near an open window. Given we know we lost them in an embarrassing way we can already guess this was a bad idea. Though a crow flying in to steal them then getting vaulted with a ninja sword isn’t what I had expected. That’s unironically pretty cool.

OH SNAP!

We are back to Rose in present time. She stands in front of a 20 foot granite wizard statue that is in her living room. Its face looks weird, familiar to me. Does anyone know who drew it? Was it a guest artist? Anyway Rose friggin hates it and all the other wizards. She believes her mother keeps them to spite her.

We’ll end this in her living room. It is a huge room and filthy with wizards. It also has some kind of adult sized pink tentacle thing in a wedding dress/wizardhat. And a copper vacuum on a pedestal. It's the usual level of wacky we’d come to expect. There is also a downstairs and some doors leading around. This place is probably much bigger then what John or Dave have. This could take awhile.