this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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We don't have one where I live, and every time my wife and I go to relatives houses where one is, she keeps telling me how good their food was growing up. I've never had them, and by the time I could drive to another town that had one, I was well aware of how shitty they are.
So every holiday, she breaks out the gift cards we got at our wedding, and asks if we can go this time. I've explained to her why I refuse to go. She agrees they're shitty. She still wants to eat there. So I tell her "I won't try to stop you from eating there, but I won't be joining you."
Unfortunately this attitude also makes me drive almost an hour to get things for some hobbies because I refuse to shop at hobby lobby. Most of their stuff feels like "curated aliexpress" though. Cheap shit, but someone found the best cheap shit. Someone gifted me a leather stamp from there that snapped on its second hit. Looked nice though.
I mean if you have a gift card then the money is already spent. Might as well get what was paid for rather than let them have the free money. Especially since she's your wife and it will make her happy to share what is clearly a beloved part of her childhood with you.
As for your last point, remember, there is no ethical consumption under capitalism. The only way to really consume ethically is to simply consume less. If that fails and you're spending the money anyways, might as well do what brings the best value to you and yours so you can pass the savings on to what you do value. There are worse things than fringe homophobia that your dollar may be supporting at another shop which receives less media coverage than hot button issues like the identity politics that are always in the news. Don't know where you prefer to shop but just the act of going so far out of your way supports oil companies, for example, in a way that it wouldn't have otherwise. If you're in an EV, that supports exploitative lithium mining by reducing battery life (however slight) and your local corrupt power monopolies when you charge it back up.
Just my unsolicited two cents, do with it what you will. It's cope, to be sure, but sometimes you just have to cope with what you can't change. Give me the serenity to accept what I can't change, the courage to change what I can and knowing the difference and all that.
Oh for fuck sake, its your wife, go with her. Its not like to eat shitty for one lunch or another that is going to make your lite ruin.