Suicide Watch

So you’ve talked about the impact on your work, have you ever thought about just like, leaving?

You obviously speak English well enough to be a native speaker. A long time ago I wanted to get away from my situation, and so went to teach English in a foreign country I wanted to visit.

Have you ever thought about doing the same? Are you worried that once you get there, you’d somehow get revealed as a “failure”, or however you think of yourself, again?

You know that if that happens, you can just.. move again, you know? I’ve moved around a lot, and I reinvented myself as a different, I think better person each time. Or at least I made a sincere attempt to think about what my weaknesses were and how to improve them.

How many places have you lived? You say you’ve run an experiment to exhaustion, but to continue that metaphor, if you ran each one in the same petri dish, how can you say you say they were truly independent?

There are more than a hundred countries who want native English speakers as foreign language teachers. Is there not a single one of those places you’d like to live in for a while?

Your current situation is literally making you want to kill yourself. If you think making the most extreme change you can requires “courage”, then don’t you think you owe it to yourself to try a less-but-still-extreme complete change of scenery? Have the courage to do that first at least.