this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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My IRL friend group I dm'd drifted apart recently cause of life stuff and I've been wanting to get a new group going. I'm so unsure about online recruiting though. I just don't trust that I'll get anyone I want to play with.
Got some tips for you
0 - Don't expect to get an awesome group on the first try, may take a while as you gather up people you want to play with.
1 - Look for communities, especially if they run shorter or west marches style games. Not necessarily join with the intent to run games, but play. Get to know folks and then extend invites to them for game.
2 - Run a few shorter games of limited length. 3-5 session long I find to be awesome to get something done. Some may be awful but you only have to stand them for a few games.
3 - Questionnaire where you discreetly bring up your red flags and feel the waters around them. For example I always mention that safety tools will be used and if they want a specific tool used I'll happily do that for them. If I get replies they don't need safety tools or disparage them in some way that would for me be a red flag.
4 - Don't be afraid to disband groups or kick out folks. It is not a failure.
?
If for example you display a subject that a player has a traumatism with. You might want to check on that before playing
Basically just a list of topics the DM and the players might be uncomfortable with or just not tolerate.
A lot of people use 'lines and veils' where a line is a hard no and a veil is fine as long as it's happening offscreen.
As an example, as the DM I would have sexual assault down as a line. I just don't want it in my games. A veil would be something where it can happen and be referenced but not occur in front of us or be overly dwelled on. I'd have sex in general as a veil as well as things like torture. I'm just not comfortable enough with those topics to roleplay them actively.
Those are some good tips, I appreciate it. It seems like joining some groups as a player might not be a bad idea, and doing a short campaign sounds smart too.
For me the main things I'm looking for are people who want to do cooperative immersive story telling, rather than meta gaming, murder hoboing, or being really goofy and ridiculous. My games are fun and we laugh plenty, but I want people to take the roleplay seriously and try to immerse themselves in the setting. The game is just there as a tool to help tell good stories together.