this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2023
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Bubba Copeland shot himself in front of police on Friday, days after he begged 1819 News not to expose his private life.

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[–] [email protected] 126 points 1 year ago (1 children)

To be fair, being trans is not the same as being a crossdresser.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Seriously? I sincerely didn't know that. Do you mind explaining the difference?

[–] [email protected] 109 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's basically the same as how Drag Queens aren't trans. They aren't fully conforming to the idea of being a 'woman', just the fashion and expression of it. Many prominent drag figures use she/her pronouns while in drag but immediately switch back to he/him when out of drag.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That makes sense to me, one is who they are and the other is just being playful with how they present themselves, at least that's how I perceive drag queens. I think that's what you're saying anyway. I get the sense though, he was so seriously taking the "cross-drossing" because it was more of a reflection of who he is. But I'm just guessing and we'll probably never know.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've known a lot of people who really get into cross dressing but would never consider themselves trans.

I never really got into a serious conversation about it, but I always took it like when you get into a video game. It's just a lot of fun pretend to be them for awhile while knowing that in reality it's fiction.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

'Course, then there are the folks for whom crossdressing is entirely different from being trans until suddenly it's not. (I'm thinking of crossdressing comedian Eddie Izzard -- who is now Suzy Izzard -- as I write this.)

The main thing is that all possibilities are possible, and it's really more about letting folks do their thing instead of trying to categorize.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Here are the Google definitions

Transgender - denoting or relating to a person whose gender identity does not correspond with the sex registered for them at birth.

Transvestite - a person who dresses in clothes primarily associated with the other sex (typically used of a man).

[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Crossdressing and/or drag is you like to be outwardly a woman/other gender. Trans is you ARE a woman. Full stop. Your meat suit just happens to not agree with it, thus the term gender dysphoria.

Note: I do not speak for a trans people. Nothing is black and white. This is just how I understand it best and figured it got the point across.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

FYI, I am looking to learn and not state anything as fact here. I am just going to explain my current understanding and if it is incorrect, please correct me.

I think gender dysphoria just describes any feelings of distress and anxiety caused by suppressing the feelings of actual gender identity. The disconnect between mind and body may not always be traumatic.

So, if a trans woman has fully embraced being a woman in all aspects of life with no second thoughts, gender dysphoria may not be an issue.

However, if a trans woman feels socially pressured to maintain the lifestyle of a man, that could be a source of stress, anxiety and initial confusion.

There are probably millions of nuanced scenerios that do, or, do not result in gender dysphoria. However, it has been my experience that most people who are anti-trans use gender dysphoria as a generalized blanket term. (Obviously, that doesn't mean that anyone who used the term is anti-trans, but just covering that base regardless.)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Maybe this will help?

Crossdressing and drag are related to gender expression. Cis and trans are terms relating to a person's gender identity and may or may not align with gender expression.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

That illustration is sweet

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

By no means am I an expert, especially on the intricacies of being trans and I don't want to cis-splain their experiences, but I do know that cross dressing has an overlap of necessity with them, but it's a ven-diagram/intersection rather than a circle.

People who are trans typically explain it as having always felt like they've always been in the wrong gendered-body. Wearing clothes that correspond to the gender they feel they are
(also, keep in mind MRI's have shown brain activity that more closely matches the gender they feel they are than the gender they were born with, as well) is way for them to try and reconcile the way they feel with the way they were born. It's usually an early stage in socially transitioning, whether they later choose to chemically/medically transition or not (and keep in mind, this is not always the end goal for people ... simply being acknowledged as the way they see themselves is enough for some people and they shouldn't be afraid to be in public because of that!).

People who cross dress on the other hand may be doing it because they're trans and feeling out the early stages OR ... just because. It could be the way a textile feels, it could be sexual, it could be non-sexual, it could be because they just like it, it could be because ... you see where I'm going with this? There are as many reasons that people cross dress as there t-shirt designs (I may be exaggerating a bit with that one, but you get my meaning, I think).

I know NOFX is problematic, but I feel like "I’m a Transvest‐Lite" explains it decently (for one particular person anyways!):

I'm not transgender, I'm a lazy crossdresser
Who thinks makeup is too much of an ordeal
I paint my toes and wear shiny tight clothes
Not for the look, but how it makes me feel
I don't need things just right, I'm a tranvest-lite
I only shave to do the Time Warp midnight Saturday
I'm done with self-pity, I don't have to feel shitty
'Cause I wanna look pretty, so I give it the old city College try
Don't get me wrong, I still wanna be a guy
Who sometimes likes to dress like a girl
(He sometimes likes to wear diamonds and pearls)
Don't think I don't know I'm not fooling anyone
(He's a cross between Adele and Charlie Chaplin)
You gotta know it's not just girls who just wanna have fun!

Also, the beginning of the song is about the shame felt early on about it and is generally about getting the courage to not give a flying fuck about what people think.

Hopefully I did a decent enough explanation without trampling on anyones lived experiences. The simple truth is that both groups of people have completely individualized experiences and it's a different journey for every single person.