this post was submitted on 03 Nov 2023
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Honestly I feel like human interaction has just become fake or hostile. You're either lying to avoid conflict or dealing with conflict. It's so much easier to just deal with the loneliness than try to jump through all these social hoops.
With that said I'm autistic so that might be why it's so painful for me to deal with.
I think human interaction change with times that tell us what we need to have to be good as friend. I am also running from people but not because I can't deal with conflict but because shame. I spend many time to understand and shame is mine final answer. I am ashamed of my dirty apartment in my father garage, I am ashamed of not having a degree, a job, the will of even find an occupation. Then I ashamed of my body, fat and full of scars of heavy loss of height. Simple I am just a monster, that lives only because parents keep alive. What kind of friend can be possible be? That's there reason to escape. This why not everyone can have interactions.
I don't have a degree either. I used to live with my parents. I also didn't have a job for years. Society conditions you to have all these things at once. Shit takes time and there is hope in life. If some low life like me can turn my life around so can you.
First of all, you don't need a degree. Just a fake piece of paper that tells people you're smart. I'm YouTube educated. Find your interest and deep dive into it. Fake a resume and start applying for jobs. Eventually someone will give you a chance.
Are you good at math? Know coding? Everyone is good at something.
I'm glad to finally read someone that's say something real. Its all about lying, yes I educate myself and I even try to fake a fair enough resumee. I realize this is the only way to hope for something. I don't have special abilities, not good at math, coding boring me. I try a lot of thing in this life, I am in a training program now, but things move slowly, I'm 35, I should have a wife by now, an happy place called home, but looks so far away, looks even that I lost the train to having that life. Feeling already old even if I do nothing, life ask things I dont have. Stupid things like a car, I don't want it, I don't like it, but people want me to have it. This example apply to everything. In order to have something I wish for I need to want something I don't like, that's so stupid and I feel bad.
Let me in on another secret, I didn't find success until 40. Took me a good 5 years to get out of my parents home. Now I have a wife and a son. I'm super happy now at 45. Don't compare yourself to others. Fuck other people. It's your life, not theirs.
I have a diagnosed mental disability and have a hard time with staying focused on things like work. Also, I hate my job. I'm just fucking good at it(thanks to YouTube). But I enjoy 3D printing and taking photos but not good enough to make it a career. My well paying boring job funds my life and my family and at 5pm, I mentally peace out of work and completely ignore all emails.
Life is what you make of it. You're not an NPC in a game. You're the main character. I'm just a random NPC that was in your shoes and letting you know there is hope.