this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2023
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This is so confusing. Are their partners lesbian? Lesbians like girls, but these people identify as boys. So only straight women would date them, except they have female tackle, so straight women won't date them, only lesbians partners will do. But lesbians like she/her so we are back to square one. Who dates them?
People who ask them out that they say yes to. I'm a straight man who doesn't have much experience with these kind of things, but I'm pretty sure you're overthinking it
Pan. These folks are pansexual and non-gender conforming.
Beyond that it's a free-for-all.
Whether they prefer pronouns or not is individual to them. Whether they identify as lesbian or not is up to them. Whether they embrace "queer" as a rollup identity or not is up to them.
You're asking all these questions like they care to answer them. They do not. They want to do their own thing and be their own best version of themselves and date like-minded people.
You can be straight and date someone who is trans. Genitalia is only one part of a person's body/gender, intercourse is only one part of sex, and sex is only one part of a relationship. (and for some, sex isn't even part of a relationship)
When it comes to relationships with queer people (which, to be clear, I think is everyone to some extent), you gotta first think of sexuality and gender as a spectrum, because if you're thinking in traditional gender binaries, there just isn't a good way of explaining many things.
Trying to fit gender non-conformists and different sexual orientations into a hetero-normative binary is like taking the visible light spectrum and then trying to describe it in terms of black and white. It's at best going to be a very poor representation of what's actually there that doesn't get you any closer to actually understanding things.
This is one of the articles I sent my brother to help explain things to him, hopefully that helps reframe things for you in a way that's helpful in understanding things better.
This is a pretty good answer for those of us who fully support people dating whoever they like but don't spend a lot of time thinking about it.