this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2023
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childfree

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I’m pretty close with this person outside of work and we used to have good non-work conversations but now I feel all I get is stories and photos of her children. We work in a tight knit team so I can’t really avoid them.

I got no less than 3 updates this weekend about a sports event with her kids including photos; more photos and another update about said event this morning; another photo of another child; updates about what her toddler was doing, and updates about how her kid made the track and field team and she absolutely needs to take time off work to go.

I don’t ask for this and I don’t really respond when she does it. I prefer to talk about other things. We used to talk about other things and now it’s kids 99% of the time to the point where it feels really one-sided. I tried to talk about a concert I went to this weekend and got really lukewarm reception.

I’m thinking I need to tone it down and say goodbye to the relationship/chit chat for a while? I feel if I tell her bluntly I’m tired of hearing about her children it will hurt her feelings. Any ideas?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I think it’s fair to not be interested in hearing about kids, but the reality is that may mean you aren’t interested in their life any more (and thus you aren’t interested in having a relationship with the person they’re able to be now). It’s likely to hurt their feelings if they mourn their past life themselves, but that doesn’t mean hurt is avoidable here. It’s also possible they love their new life and will not be bothered by moving on from their relationship with you, at least for a few years.